The David Alliance

They make you mad... then they make you Men!

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

 

Mark was probably a little spoiled, a little soft, and a little privileged… I have a hard time around people like that. But Mark learned a very hard but good lesson in his life simply by hanging around with the right people. And many times the right people feel like the wrong people… until the end of your life. 

Quick question: are you hanging around the right people? Are they the people that will call you on your excuses, your mistakes, your rebellion and your apathy? I hope you have those friends around you… if not you may never experience what Mark experienced. 

You can run from the rub… but it will cost you. 

 

 

Marks life had what I call the rub….

The rub… deadlift bars can teach you a lot… 

The gnurl… it rips your hands up… people want the smooth bar, but you can’t life heavy weights with the smooth bar… it will slip out of your hands. The gnurl builds callouses and allows you to have it stick in your hand… the more aggressive he gnurl the better it is for a deadlifter … yes a soft gnurl is easy on the hands and it does not give you callouses, but you will only be able to lift so much weight… you won’t reach your potential. 

 

God has put people in our lives to be the rub, to be the gnurl. Don’t over look this. It is actually a blessing. The longer you have people in your life who rub you the wrong way, the more you will grow spiritually. If you run from the rub you rob yourself from the Rich spiritual life. 

 

If you asked me 35 years ago about the people in my life who were really hard to be around, the ones who just had something against me, they pushed my buttons… If I had to name them back then it would have been super easy… but today at 60, Those people are still in my life, but I see them in a different point of view - as a blessing - so it would be hard to say I don’t like them or want them in my life like I would have said back then. 

There is no doubt in my mind that early in John Marks life he would have been willing to be a martyr for Jesus - but after the rub… he planted a church in Etheopia and was martyred there for his faith. He learned to toughen up and live straight for Jesus. So embrace those who rub you the wrong way… they are probably went there by God… and if they were sent by satan… then what a fool he is to give you such a blessing! 

Why Enemies are a good th

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

2004 a movie came out called Miracle on ice. The story of the 1980 US Hockey team that beat the Soviets to win Gold. Herb Brooks was the COACH…

NORWAY TIE

Again… Again… Again… BLUE LINE, RED LINE, BLUE LINE, TO THE WALL AND BACK

They were nicknamed “Herbies” 

It was to demand the most out of his players and find out which ones had it emotionally and mentally not just physically. 

He wanted to find the right players and not the best players…. 

What many of the players did not realize was Herb had a degree in Psychology… he understood what it took to get the most out of his players…

HE PERFECTED HIS COACHING STYLE FROM HIS OWN PAIN - he was the last one cut from the roster to make the 1960 Olympic team which won a gold. He was thought to be not as gifted, fast, conditioned  or experienced as the others on the team. 

 

During the season of prep for the Olympics the team hated Herb. He was their enemy… 

NOT REALIZING THAT THIS WAS ON PURPOSE TO BRING OUT THE BEST IN HIS PLAYERS. 

He had players from Boston who hated the skaters from ND and the like… 

 

TODAY WE SEE THE LIFE OF MARK OR JOHN MARK 

He was surrounded by some Herb Brooks

By the names of the Apostle Paul and Peter… not easy guys to be around… especially for Mark or John Mark as he was actually called. John Mark was educated, came from a wealthy family, had privilege and was probably a little bit of a whiner. Paul had a falling out with Barnabas because he did not want to travel with Mark… BTW Mark and Barnabas were cousins… 

 

5 Biggest mistakes you make under 60

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

 

When people are asked… if you could do it over again would you… and they say “no, I love my mistakes and its what made me who I am today”. That sounds great right, even manly… but I truly doubt it. If I could go back and do things differently would I? ABSOLUTELY 100% - so what would I do differently? Thats where were going today! 

 

It's impossible to provide a definitive "five biggest mistakes" for every man in every decade of his life, as experiences and priorities vary greatly. However, based on common life challenges, regrets, and advice, here are some generally observed mistakes men often make at different ages:

Under 20:

1. Neglecting Education and Skill Development: Not taking school seriously, failing to explore passions, or not investing in skills that will be valuable later. This can limit future career and financial opportunities.

I would imagine most boys are not realizing that High School is the last free education you will get… use it up as much as you can. And more than that, learn skills from other men, its free education. Welding, automotive, investing, carpentry, cooking, baking, relationship advice, boxing, Balancing your checking account, talking to women, handling conflict… Just about anybody can teach you something for free. 

 

2. Poor Financial Habits: Not learning about budgeting, saving, or investing, and instead falling into debt (e.g., credit card debt, unnecessary loans) or wasteful spending.

Here is a lesson I learned early on in life. And I will admit, that early on in life I liked to spend money on stupid stuff… or at least over spend on my hobbies. But I learned two huge pieces of advice. One give yourself a raise every year…i.e. shop for lower insurance, cable, internet, cheaper place to buy groceries etc…

2ndly I sell stuff I have not used for a year and I invest it into my 401k. Also I don’t do my own investing other then crypto. And I do not touch my investments… early on I did, but I learned the hardware. If I had kept my Amazon stock I would have a few million dollars still in my portfolio. 

 

3. Ignoring Health: Believing they're invincible and adopting unhealthy habits (poor diet, lack of exercise, insufficient sleep, substance abuse) that will have repercussions later.

Not just ignoring health - but ignoring healthy habits. Build into your life a regular weekly exercise plan. Healthy eating and sleep habits. Look I get it, when I was under 20 years old I drank a 12 pack of Mt. Dew a day and ate a full bag of double stuff Oreos - now I was waterskiing and barefooting all day long so I was burning it off and I was also a competitive powerlifter… but the habit was hard to break even though I was not putting on weight. 

Back to working out… most guys say they don’t have time, but if you get up at 5am you will have time, not only that you will be more energetic during the day but when it comes to sleep you won’t be able to stay up late watching stupid TV or computer or phone… so it all balances out. 

 

4. Lack of Self-Awareness/Identity: Not taking the time to understand their values, goals, and who they are as individuals, often leading to being swayed by peer pressure or societal expectations.

Know your weaknesses and box them in, and know your strengths and double down on those. I am not going to spend time working on becoming more detailed and OCD… it aint’ me. I will work on being a leader, communicator, preacher, teacher, vision caster, motivator and risk taker. 

I won’t allow myself to work in my weaknesses - I will let others work in those areas…and if I absolutely have to I will first build a detailed system to do it. 

5. Taking Relationships for Granted: Neglecting friendships or not learning healthy communication and respect in romantic relationships, which can lead to isolation or repeated relationship issues.

Most men under 40 are only practicing divorce in their relationship habits. You make out, you have sex, you break up and move on. THIS IS THE PERFECT PRACTICE FOR A ruined marriage. Most guys under 20 are 100% motivated in relationships from a selfish foundation. They only give to get, they never learn to give just to give. They never learn to sacrifice in order to create a better version of the women they are dating. 

Under 30:

1. Not Investing Early: Missing out on the power of compound interest by delaying retirement savings or other long-term investments.

If you are 25 and you invest $12 a day into an account reaping basically between 6-8% return you will have a million dollars by the time you retire. That is only $360 a month. That is nothing… if you think its a lot add up how much you spend at the convenience store, on clothes you don’t wear, on tickets, on junk food and fast food and maybe even online gambling or girls… its peanuts. 

2. Staying in Unfulfilling Jobs/Careers: Remaining in a job or industry solely for the paycheck, without pursuing opportunities that align with their passions or offer growth, leading to stagnation.

Here is a secret. There is someone out there willing to pay you for what you want to do if you are good at it. You want to just play guitar all day? Learn to read music, join a musicians union, hang out with other musicians and producers… it is not that hard. You may not make millions, but you will earn a living doing what you love. I have quite a few friends who do it full time and part time and make decent money. 

 

3. Prioritizing Work Over Relationships: Sacrificing personal connections, family time, and mental well-being for career advancement, leading to regret and strained relationships later.

I know you are under 30… you have a lifetime ahead of you… but actually you are just about in midlife. If you live to 75 you are only a few years out from reaching that half way mark.. and trust me the next 35 will fly buy 3 times as fast!  So focus on relationships.. your parents, your spouse, your brothers and sisters, your childhood friends, men at church etc… make that a solid priority! 

 

4. Failing to Address Mental Health: Ignoring or suppressing mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, due to societal pressures or a "man up" mentality, preventing them from seeking necessary help.

Look its no secret that a lot and I mean most of 30 and under came from dysfunctional families. From No dads to 4 dads… It can cause a lot of stress, mental baggage and a lack of skill in dealing with it. The internet, phone and social media pressure does not help. One of the greatest manly things you can do is go in for counseling and mental health screenings. Get the help you need and don’t ever be embarrassed about it. You would not be embarrassed by going in for a broken arm… mental health is no different. And you are truly doing if for your current or future family. 

 

5. Making Major Financial Commitments Without a Plan: Taking on significant debt (e.g., for an expensive car or a house they can barely afford) without a solid financial foundation or emergency fund.

Nothing wrong with buying a new car… but that doesn’t mean it has to be the brand-new or the best or even middle of the road. My car is 25 years old with 200,000 miles on it…and that car has not had a payment for 22 years. 

If you are going to purchase a house, car of boat or motorcycle… talk to a legit financial counselor. You might be surprised at how much they can help you. There is nothing wrong with spending money, there are only wrong things to spend money on. 

 

I will say this, I do see a lot of 30 and under young men who are really on the right track. They have learned the hard way from watching their parents make all the wrong and stupid decisions. Good for you! It will be worth it! 

 

Under 40:

1. Neglecting Physical Health: Continuing unhealthy habits from earlier decades, leading to the onset of chronic health problems (e.g., heart disease, obesity, diabetes) that could have been prevented or managed earlier.

Here is a little bit of controversy…. And BTW I am working on attaining my certification in nutrition. You can get away with an ok diet if you are physically active. But even if you eat healthy and are not physically active - it will hurt you. 

Build a system in place to do something you like to do a few times a week. Volleyball, racquet ball, jump rope, lift weights, karate, pickle ball, hot yoga… I don’t care, just do it 3-4 times a week for at least 45 minutes and your life will improve miraculously. Most people hate exercise because they choose exercise they hate. Choose something you love. 

2. Becoming Stagnant in Career: Not continuing to learn, adapt, or seek new challenges in their career, leading to being passed over for promotions or feeling stuck.

Two things you can do to grow in your position… proven strategies. #1 learn how to get along with people. Most people are promoted first and foremost because others like them. #2 Continue to ask to learn new things at your job. Have you ever wondered what your boss would say if you asked him “what can I learn in order to help you and your business succeed. 

If you are not growing you are dying. Every year you should try to learn something new. Get a certificate in basket weaving… it does not matter. Stay sharp. 

3. Ignoring Relationship Issues: Allowing resentments or communication problems to fester in their primary relationships, rather than actively working on them, potentially leading to divorce or emotional distance.

You have not repaired family relationships and now they seem irreparable… until someone is lying on their deathbed… Now is the time. 

Secondly you realize that between you and your spouse… that little issue did not go away. Now it is a monster. It could be how you flirt with other women, your anger issues, your over spending, your lack of communication…. Here is the crazy and astounding FACT - your marriage can get better and better and more amazing if you put in the hard work, or you can do nothing… simply nothing and it will suck. You don’t have to put in the hard work for it to suck… just do nothing and it will happen all on its own. Ignorance starts out as bliss but soon turns into bitterness.

4. Lack of Financial Planning for the Future: Not adequately saving for retirement, their children's education, or other significant future expenses, despite increased earning potential.

We covered this before but for the sake of redundancy - If you have not started a healthy aggressive retirement plan by the time you are 40, you can plan to live poor when you retire or plan on working until you are in your late 70’s. Don’t be that guy. 

5. Failing to Cultivate a Strong Support System: Losing touch with friends and neglecting to build new connections outside of work, leading to potential isolation.

Point 2 today was ignoring relationship issues… but along with that is not taking time to build a support system. The old adage “the best way to have a friend is to be a friend”.  It has stood the test of time. This week I am helping a friend move.. why? Because he has been there for me numerous times. 

Who do you call in a pinch, a bind, an emergency? I can call Ty, Tim, Scott, Allan and they will help no matter what. And they have called me… and I will help no matter what! 

Under 50:

1. Not Prioritizing Health Screenings: Skipping regular doctor's visits and necessary health screenings (e.g., prostate exams, cholesterol checks), which can delay early detection of serious illnesses.
2. Becoming Complacent: Settling into a routine and resisting change, whether in their career, personal growth, or relationships, which can lead to a sense of unfulfillment or "mid-life crisis."
3. Ignoring Work-Life Balance: Continuing to overwork at the expense of family, hobbies, and personal well-being, leading to burnout and regret.
4. Failing to Update Skills or keep with the times: Not adapting to new technologies or industry changes, potentially making them less competitive in the job market.

Right now you should be learning AI, crypto, Blockchain, Analytical and Critical Thinking: The ability to evaluate information objectively, question assumptions, ESPECIALLY IN TODAYS MEDIA -  and solve complex problems by breaking them down and finding innovative solutions is paramount. Even advanced AI can't replicate human critical analysis.

And you don’t have to be a nuts’O prepare but how do you live off the grid or what do you do what grocery stores are out of food? You have to protect yourself… as we get older many of us have become so dependent on technology that if we had to live out in the sticks we would die. 

Its never been easier and more important to update your skills in every facet of life. 

5. Lack of Estate Planning: Not putting a will, trusts, or other estate planning documents in place, leaving their loved ones in a difficult position later.

The worst moments in life that I have seen personally is when someone dies and the family tears into each other because of a lack of planning on the part of the deceased. Everything from what you want in the funeral to who gets what. 

Under 60:

1. Regretting Not Living Authentically: Realizing they spent too much time trying to meet others' expectations rather than pursuing their own dreams and desires.
2. Insufficient Retirement Savings: Facing the reality of retirement without adequate funds, potentially forcing them to work longer than desired or significantly alter their lifestyle.
3. Losing Connection with Family/Friends: Realizing they neglected important relationships over the years and now struggle to reconnect or feel isolated.
4. Ignoring Emotional Well-being: Not addressing long-standing emotional issues or seeking support for mental health, which can impact their quality of life in retirement.
5. Failing to Maintain Physical Activity: Allowing a sedentary lifestyle to take over, leading to decreased mobility, chronic pain, and a lower quality of life in their later years.
6. Not sharing Christ with those who have past on before you. 
7. Not risking enough in your spiritual walk. Faith is spelled R.I.S.K. Have you ever prayed for a dead person to rise up? Have you ever prayed for a person with cancer? A headache? Have you ever spoken to someone a word that you feel God has given you for them? Have you called a friend out on a sin? Have you ever stood up for your biblical values at work or your network… I am pro-life. I do not agree with Transgenderism or homosexuality? I am pro Israel. I believe Jesus is coming back and you will spend eternity in Hell if you do not accept him as your Lord and Savior… 

These are general observations, and every individual's journey is unique. The key takeaway is often the importance of proactive health, financial planning, continuous personal growth, and nurturing relationships throughout all stages of life.

 

 

5 Biggest mistakes you make under 40!

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

 

When people are asked… if you could do it over again would you… and they say “no, I love my mistakes and its what made me who I am today”. That sounds great right, even manly… but I truly doubt it. If I could go back and do things differently would I? ABSOLUTELY 100% - so what would I do differently? Thats where were going today! 

 

It's impossible to provide a definitive "five biggest mistakes" for every man in every decade of his life, as experiences and priorities vary greatly. However, based on common life challenges, regrets, and advice, here are some generally observed mistakes men often make at different ages:

Under 20:

1. Neglecting Education and Skill Development: Not taking school seriously, failing to explore passions, or not investing in skills that will be valuable later. This can limit future career and financial opportunities.

I would imagine most boys are not realizing that High School is the last free education you will get… use it up as much as you can. And more than that, learn skills from other men, its free education. Welding, automotive, investing, carpentry, cooking, baking, relationship advice, boxing, Balancing your checking account, talking to women, handling conflict… Just about anybody can teach you something for free. 

 

2. Poor Financial Habits: Not learning about budgeting, saving, or investing, and instead falling into debt (e.g., credit card debt, unnecessary loans) or wasteful spending.

Here is a lesson I learned early on in life. And I will admit, that early on in life I liked to spend money on stupid stuff… or at least over spend on my hobbies. But I learned two huge pieces of advice. One give yourself a raise every year…i.e. shop for lower insurance, cable, internet, cheaper place to buy groceries etc…

2ndly I sell stuff I have not used for a year and I invest it into my 401k. Also I don’t do my own investing other then crypto. And I do not touch my investments… early on I did, but I learned the hardware. If I had kept my Amazon stock I would have a few million dollars still in my portfolio. 

 

3. Ignoring Health: Believing they're invincible and adopting unhealthy habits (poor diet, lack of exercise, insufficient sleep, substance abuse) that will have repercussions later.

Not just ignoring health - but ignoring healthy habits. Build into your life a regular weekly exercise plan. Healthy eating and sleep habits. Look I get it, when I was under 20 years old I drank a 12 pack of Mt. Dew a day and ate a full bag of double stuff Oreos - now I was waterskiing and barefooting all day long so I was burning it off and I was also a competitive powerlifter… but the habit was hard to break even though I was not putting on weight. 

Back to working out… most guys say they don’t have time, but if you get up at 5am you will have time, not only that you will be more energetic during the day but when it comes to sleep you won’t be able to stay up late watching stupid TV or computer or phone… so it all balances out. 

 

4. Lack of Self-Awareness/Identity: Not taking the time to understand their values, goals, and who they are as individuals, often leading to being swayed by peer pressure or societal expectations.

Know your weaknesses and box them in, and know your strengths and double down on those. I am not going to spend time working on becoming more detailed and OCD… it aint’ me. I will work on being a leader, communicator, preacher, teacher, vision caster, motivator and risk taker. 

I won’t allow myself to work in my weaknesses - I will let others work in those areas…and if I absolutely have to I will first build a detailed system to do it. 

5. Taking Relationships for Granted: Neglecting friendships or not learning healthy communication and respect in romantic relationships, which can lead to isolation or repeated relationship issues.

Most men under 40 are only practicing divorce in their relationship habits. You make out, you have sex, you break up and move on. THIS IS THE PERFECT PRACTICE FOR A ruined marriage. Most guys under 20 are 100% motivated in relationships from a selfish foundation. They only give to get, they never learn to give just to give. They never learn to sacrifice in order to create a better version of the women they are dating. 

Under 30:

1. Not Investing Early: Missing out on the power of compound interest by delaying retirement savings or other long-term investments.

If you are 25 and you invest $12 a day into an account reaping basically between 6-8% return you will have a million dollars by the time you retire. That is only $360 a month. That is nothing… if you think its a lot add up how much you spend at the convenience store, on clothes you don’t wear, on tickets, on junk food and fast food and maybe even online gambling or girls… its peanuts. 

2. Staying in Unfulfilling Jobs/Careers: Remaining in a job or industry solely for the paycheck, without pursuing opportunities that align with their passions or offer growth, leading to stagnation.

Here is a secret. There is someone out there willing to pay you for what you want to do if you are good at it. You want to just play guitar all day? Learn to read music, join a musicians union, hang out with other musicians and producers… it is not that hard. You may not make millions, but you will earn a living doing what you love. I have quite a few friends who do it full time and part time and make decent money. 

 

3. Prioritizing Work Over Relationships: Sacrificing personal connections, family time, and mental well-being for career advancement, leading to regret and strained relationships later.

I know you are under 30… you have a lifetime ahead of you… but actually you are just about in midlife. If you live to 75 you are only a few years out from reaching that half way mark.. and trust me the next 35 will fly buy 3 times as fast!  So focus on relationships.. your parents, your spouse, your brothers and sisters, your childhood friends, men at church etc… make that a solid priority! 

 

4. Failing to Address Mental Health: Ignoring or suppressing mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, due to societal pressures or a "man up" mentality, preventing them from seeking necessary help.

Look its no secret that a lot and I mean most of 30 and under came from dysfunctional families. From No dads to 4 dads… It can cause a lot of stress, mental baggage and a lack of skill in dealing with it. The internet, phone and social media pressure does not help. One of the greatest manly things you can do is go in for counseling and mental health screenings. Get the help you need and don’t ever be embarrassed about it. You would not be embarrassed by going in for a broken arm… mental health is no different. And you are truly doing if for your current or future family. 

 

5. Making Major Financial Commitments Without a Plan: Taking on significant debt (e.g., for an expensive car or a house they can barely afford) without a solid financial foundation or emergency fund.

Nothing wrong with buying a new car… but that doesn’t mean it has to be the brand-new or the best or even middle of the road. My car is 25 years old with 200,000 miles on it…and that car has not had a payment for 22 years. 

If you are going to purchase a house, car of boat or motorcycle… talk to a legit financial counselor. You might be surprised at how much they can help you. There is nothing wrong with spending money, there are only wrong things to spend money on. 

 

I will say this, I do see a lot of 30 and under young men who are really on the right track. They have learned the hard way from watching their parents make all the wrong and stupid decisions. Good for you! It will be worth it! 

 

Under 40:

1. Neglecting Physical Health: Continuing unhealthy habits from earlier decades, leading to the onset of chronic health problems (e.g., heart disease, obesity, diabetes) that could have been prevented or managed earlier.

Here is a little bit of controversy…. And BTW I am working on attaining my certification in nutrition. You can get away with an ok diet if you are physically active. But even if you eat healthy and are not physically active - it will hurt you. 

Build a system in place to do something you like to do a few times a week. Volleyball, racquet ball, jump rope, lift weights, karate, pickle ball, hot yoga… I don’t care, just do it 3-4 times a week for at least 45 minutes and your life will improve miraculously. Most people hate exercise because they choose exercise they hate. Choose something you love. 

2. Becoming Stagnant in Career: Not continuing to learn, adapt, or seek new challenges in their career, leading to being passed over for promotions or feeling stuck.

Two things you can do to grow in your position… proven strategies. #1 learn how to get along with people. Most people are promoted first and foremost because others like them. #2 Continue to ask to learn new things at your job. Have you ever wondered what your boss would say if you asked him “what can I learn in order to help you and your business succeed. 

If you are not growing you are dying. Every year you should try to learn something new. Get a certificate in basket weaving… it does not matter. Stay sharp. 

3. Ignoring Relationship Issues: Allowing resentments or communication problems to fester in their primary relationships, rather than actively working on them, potentially leading to divorce or emotional distance.

You have not repaired family relationships and now they seem irreparable… until someone is lying on their deathbed… Now is the time. 

Secondly you realize that between you and your spouse… that little issue did not go away. Now it is a monster. It could be how you flirt with other women, your anger issues, your over spending, your lack of communication…. Here is the crazy and astounding FACT - your marriage can get better and better and more amazing if you put in the hard work, or you can do nothing… simply nothing and it will suck. You don’t have to put in the hard work for it to suck… just do nothing and it will happen all on its own. Ignorance starts out as bliss but soon turns into bitterness.

4. Lack of Financial Planning for the Future: Not adequately saving for retirement, their children's education, or other significant future expenses, despite increased earning potential.

We covered this before but for the sake of redundancy - If you have not started a healthy aggressive retirement plan by the time you are 40, you can plan to live poor when you retire or plan on working until you are in your late 70’s. Don’t be that guy. 

5. Failing to Cultivate a Strong Support System: Losing touch with friends and neglecting to build new connections outside of work, leading to potential isolation.

Point 2 today was ignoring relationship issues… but along with that is not taking time to build a support system. The old adage “the best way to have a friend is to be a friend”.  It has stood the test of time. This week I am helping a friend move.. why? Because he has been there for me numerous times. 

Who do you call in a pinch, a bind, an emergency? I can call Ty, Tim, Scott, Allan and they will help no matter what. And they have called me… and I will help no matter what! 

5 Biggest Mistakes Men Make Under 30!

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

Under 30:

1. Not Investing Early: Missing out on the power of compound interest by delaying retirement savings or other long-term investments.

If you are 25 and you invest $12 a day into an account reaping basically between 6-8% return you will have a million dollars by the time you retire. That is only $360 a month. That is nothing… if you think its a lot add up how much you spend at the convenience store, on clothes you don’t wear, on tickets, on junk food and fast food and maybe even online gambling or girls… its peanuts. 

2. Staying in Unfulfilling Jobs/Careers: Remaining in a job or industry solely for the paycheck, without pursuing opportunities that align with their passions or offer growth, leading to stagnation.

Here is a secret. There is someone out there willing to pay you for what you want to do if you are good at it. You want to just play guitar all day? Learn to read music, join a musicians union, hang out with other musicians and producers… it is not that hard. You may not make millions, but you will earn a living doing what you love. I have quite a few friends who do it full time and part time and make decent money. 

 

3. Prioritizing Work Over Relationships: Sacrificing personal connections, family time, and mental well-being for career advancement, leading to regret and strained relationships later.

I know you are under 30… you have a lifetime ahead of you… but actually you are just about in midlife. If you live to 75 you are only a few years out from reaching that half way mark.. and trust me the next 35 will fly buy 3 times as fast!  So focus on relationships.. your parents, your spouse, your brothers and sisters, your childhood friends, men at church etc… make that a solid priority! 

 

4. Failing to Address Mental Health: Ignoring or suppressing mental health issues, such as anxiety or depression, due to societal pressures or a "man up" mentality, preventing them from seeking necessary help.

Look its no secret that a lot and I mean most of 30 and under came from dysfunctional families. From No dads to 4 dads… It can cause a lot of stress, mental baggage and a lack of skill in dealing with it. The internet, phone and social media pressure does not help. One of the greatest manly things you can do is go in for counseling and mental health screenings. Get the help you need and don’t ever be embarrassed about it. You would not be embarrassed by going in for a broken arm… mental health is no different. And you are truly doing if for your current or future family. 

 

5. Making Major Financial Commitments Without a Plan: Taking on significant debt (e.g., for an expensive car or a house they can barely afford) without a solid financial foundation or emergency fund.

Nothing wrong with buying a new car… but that doesn’t mean it has to be the brand-new or the best or even middle of the road. My car is 25 years old with 200,000 miles on it…and that car has not had a payment for 22 years. 

If you are going to purchase a house, car of boat or motorcycle… talk to a legit financial counselor. You might be surprised at how much they can help you. There is nothing wrong with spending money, there are only wrong things to spend money on. 

 

I will say this, I do see a lot of 30 and under young men who are really on the right track. They have learned the hard way from watching their parents make all the wrong and stupid decisions. Good for you! It will be worth it! 

5 Biggest mistakes men make under 20

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

 

When people are asked… if you could do it over again would you… and they say “no, I love my mistakes and its what made me who I am today”. That sounds great right, even manly… but I truly doubt it. If I could go back and do things differently would I? ABSOLUTELY 100% - so what would I do differently? Thats where were going today! 

 

It's impossible to provide a definitive "five biggest mistakes" for every man in every decade of his life, as experiences and priorities vary greatly. However, based on common life challenges, regrets, and advice, here are some generally observed mistakes men often make at different ages:

Under 20:

1. Neglecting Education and Skill Development: Not taking school seriously, failing to explore passions, or not investing in skills that will be valuable later. This can limit future career and financial opportunities.

I would imagine most boys are not realizing that High School is the last free education you will get… use it up as much as you can. And more than that, learn skills from other men, its free education. Welding, automotive, investing, carpentry, cooking, baking, relationship advice, boxing, Balancing your checking account, talking to women, handling conflict… Just about anybody can teach you something for free. 

 

2. Poor Financial Habits: Not learning about budgeting, saving, or investing, and instead falling into debt (e.g., credit card debt, unnecessary loans) or wasteful spending.

Here is a lesson I learned early on in life. And I will admit, that early on in life I liked to spend money on stupid stuff… or at least over spend on my hobbies. But I learned two huge pieces of advice. One give yourself a raise every year…i.e. shop for lower insurance, cable, internet, cheaper place to buy groceries etc…

2ndly I sell stuff I have not used for a year and I invest it into my 401k. Also I don’t do my own investing other then crypto. And I do not touch my investments… early on I did, but I learned the hardware. If I had kept my Amazon stock I would have a few million dollars still in my portfolio. 

 

3. Ignoring Health: Believing they're invincible and adopting unhealthy habits (poor diet, lack of exercise, insufficient sleep, substance abuse) that will have repercussions later.

Not just ignoring health - but ignoring healthy habits. Build into your life a regular weekly exercise plan. Healthy eating and sleep habits. Look I get it, when I was under 20 years old I drank a 12 pack of Mt. Dew a day and ate a full bag of double stuff Oreos - now I was waterskiing and barefooting all day long so I was burning it off and I was also a competitive powerlifter… but the habit was hard to break even though I was not putting on weight. 

Back to working out… most guys say they don’t have time, but if you get up at 5am you will have time, not only that you will be more energetic during the day but when it comes to sleep you won’t be able to stay up late watching stupid TV or computer or phone… so it all balances out. 

 

4. Lack of Self-Awareness/Identity: Not taking the time to understand their values, goals, and who they are as individuals, often leading to being swayed by peer pressure or societal expectations.

Know your weaknesses and box them in, and know your strengths and double down on those. I am not going to spend time working on becoming more detailed and OCD… it aint’ me. I will work on being a leader, communicator, preacher, teacher, vision caster, motivator and risk taker. 

I won’t allow myself to work in my weaknesses - I will let others work in those areas…and if I absolutely have to I will first build a detailed system to do it. 

5. Taking Relationships for Granted: Neglecting friendships or not learning healthy communication and respect in romantic relationships, which can lead to isolation or repeated relationship issues.

Most men under 40 are only practicing divorce in their relationship habits. You make out, you have sex, you break up and move on. THIS IS THE PERFECT PRACTICE FOR A ruined marriage. Most guys under 20 are 100% motivated in relationships from a selfish foundation. They only give to get, they never learn to give just to give. They never learn to sacrifice in order to create a better version of the women they are dating. 

Thank you = Gospel

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

 

Is it hard for you to share Christ? Is it hard for you to say thank you? Is it hard for you to walk away? Is it hard for you to walk back? What does this have to do with anything? Well thats where we are going today.

 

LUKE 17

11 As Jesus continued on toward Jerusalem, he reached the border between Galilee and Samaria. 12 As he entered a village there, ten men with leprosy stood at a distance, 13 crying out, “Jesus, Master, have mercy on us!”

14 He looked at them and said, “Go show yourselves to the priests.” And as they went, they were cleansed of their leprosy.

15 One of them, when he saw that he was healed, came back to Jesus, shouting, “Praise God!” 16 He fell to the ground at Jesus’ feet, thanking him for what he had done. This man was a Samaritan.

17 Jesus asked, “Didn’t I heal ten men? Where are the other nine? 18 Has no one returned to give glory to God except this foreigner?” 19 And Jesus said to the man, “Stand up and go. Your faith has healed you.”

Healed GK sozo - salvation 

It only takes 1 thing to change the world or yourself!

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

Do you want to change the world? Heck if you just want to change yourself… It doesn’t take much actually, all you gotta do… all you gotta do is simply be willing to tick people off - pretty much every day. If you can handle that you are on your way…. And thats where were going today. 

World-changing leaders, by their very nature, disrupt the status quo and challenge existing norms. This often leads to strong reactions, and anger can be a common response. Here are five main reasons why world-changing leaders make people mad:

1. Threat to the Status Quo and Established Power: World-changing leaders often advocate for radical shifts in societal structures, economic systems, or deeply ingrained beliefs. This directly threatens individuals and groups who benefit from the current system, hold power within it, or are comfortable with the familiar. Their anger stems from a perceived loss of control, privilege, or stability.

Who was most mad at Jesus? The pharisees… and they had the power. They made the money, they called the shots. Jesus wasn’t just a threat to their Judean belief system, he was a threat to their power. They could no longer make money at the temple courts if Jesus keeps tipping over tables. The pharisees no longer had sway over the people as long as they were enamored by Christ teaching… the status quo had to go if you were a follower of Christ. 

2. Uncertainty and Fear of the Unknown: Change, especially on a grand scale, inherently brings uncertainty. People are often resistant to change because it pushes them out of their comfort zones and into unfamiliar territory. The visions of world-changing leaders can seem daunting, unrealistic, or even dangerous to those who prefer predictability and fear the potential negative consequences of such profound shifts. This fear can easily manifest as anger or resentment.

When a husband becomes sober all to many times the wife leaves him and marry’s another alcoholic… why? She doesn’t know how to live with a sober husband and the fear is to much to handle. 

3. Challenge to Personal Beliefs and Values: Many world-changing leaders challenge deeply held cultural, religious, or personal values. When a leader proposes ideas that contradict what people believe to be fundamentally right or true, it can feel like a personal attack. This can provoke a strong emotional response, including anger, as individuals feel their identity and moral framework are being undermined.

You may be to young to remember this, but when drums were introduced into the church worship service it split congregations. People would comment that if they wanted drums they would go to the bar… The values and beliefs were that this is corrupt music, it is sinful. But many pastors knew that to reach the lost they needed more contemporary music… HOW RADICAL RIGHT? 

 

4. Disruption of Personal Comfort and Routine: Even for those who might agree with the ultimate goals, the process of world-changing transformation can be disruptive to daily life and established routines. It might require significant personal sacrifice, adaptation, or a re-evaluation of how things are done. This inconvenience and the effort required can lead to frustration and anger, especially if people feel the change is being imposed upon them without their full consent or understanding of the immediate personal cost.

Lets say you are 50 years old and you really have not done anything to prepare financially to retire… but now you are. You put your wife and yourself on a strict budget and you start investing monthly… but your wife is used to shopping, and spending and getting what she wants… its a disruption to her normal life. 

Or a wife wants to grow spiritually with her husband. She wants him to be the spiritual leader… she wants to get up early and read and pray with him… uhm… can anyone say disruption? 

5. Perceived Arrogance or Unrealistic Expectations: Visionary leaders often possess immense self-belief and an unwavering commitment to their goals. While this can be inspiring to some, it can also be perceived as arrogance or a disregard for practical realities by others. When their ambitious visions face setbacks or prove difficult to implement, those who were skeptical can become angry, viewing the leader as detached from reality or overpromising. Furthermore, if the leader pushes people too hard or has unrealistic timelines, it can lead to burnout and resentment among followers.

One of the most arrogant things Jesus said to the pharisees was if you destroy this temple I will rebuild it in 3 days. John 2:19.  How cocky… how ridiculous and how Right he was.  But not everyone will see it. 

Look if you want to change the world or again just yourself - ask God to give you the strength to do just that regardless of what people think. 

He see's WHO you will BE!

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

 

Matthew the first book of the Bible…

The Book: One of the most important books of the New Testament, widely read and influential throughout Christian history. 

 * Provides a comprehensive account of Jesus' life, teachings, death, and resurrection

 

IT WAS WRITTEN BY LEVI (MATTHEW)

 

 * Matthew was a beautifully crafted book written to the Jews. It is foundational to the other gospels.

  *  He quotes the old Testament over 100 times and eludes to it another 50. 

   *- He mentions the Kingdom 55 times 

    * - He mentions Kingdom of heaven 32 times

   - - - Matthew was never mentioned after Acts 2?

History records that he was martyred in Ethiopia by sword.

 

His Social Standing:

• • Wealthy due to his profession, but socially ostracized.
  • Likely literate and skilled in record-keeping, essential for his work.

 

*and this is a good thing. He gives us the clearest historical picture of who Jesus is - which is what the Jews needed.

 

But he was a tax collector… they were hated by the jews. Many times you see in scripture where it says Jesus was with sinners and publicans which is a tax collector. This the scriptures way of telling us how the jews saw tax collectors…it would be like saying “this guy is bad, he is a sinner… but this guy… he is a tax collector… NOW THATS A SINNER! 

 

But here is the twist… 

 

 - * History points to the belief that Matthew was the cousin of Jesus. Matthews father “Alphaeus Cephus” was the brother of Joseph- Jesus stepfather. 

 

How hard is it for us to forgive people… pretty hard. But how hard is it for us to forgive family? EVEN HARDER… 

Matthew obviously knew who Jesus was and now who he claimed to be. Jesus of course knew who Matthew was… 

 

Jesus nicknames Levi “Matthew” which means gift from God. No one at that time looked at Levi and thought “gift of god” but rather curse from man or the roman government…. But Jesus saw who he could be….

 

Matthew was a tax collector - which meant

He was a copius note taker

Extremely educated and literate

Gifted in negotiation

Gift in debate and defense

Handling disputes

Detailed record keeping

ALL OF THIS REFLECTS HIS WRITING IN THE BOOK OF MATTHEW!

See when you come to Christ- he uses your past to be the framework for your future in faith. 

What you love is what you serve.... uh oh!

Garth Heckman

The David Alliance

TDAgiantSlayer@Gmail.com 

 

What do you love the most?

A certain type of food? Your spouses hips or lips?

Your job? The money you make? Your biceps? Your ministry? Your 1953 corvette? Your brand-new Mercedes? Your girlfriend? Alcohol? Drugs? Your phone? 

Or maybe it is far worse than that? Maybe you are in love with…. Thats where we are going today!

 

What are you in love with… a lot of answers come to mind… but I believe they all stem from one basic foundation. We love to be approved by others. We love others approval. And we are willing to do just about anything to get it. 

 

The approval of other people is so important to most because it's deeply rooted in fundamental human psychological and evolutionary needs. Here's a breakdown of the key reasons:

1. Evolutionary and Survival Instincts:

• Historical Necessity: For much of human history, belonging to a group or tribe was essential for survival. Being accepted meant access to resources, protection from threats, and the ability to find a mate and raise offspring. Rejection from the group could be a death sentence. This deep-seated fear of rejection and need for acceptance has been passed down through generations.
• Social Connection: Humans are inherently social creatures. Our brains are wired for connection, and social interaction plays a crucial role in our well-being. Approval from others reinforces our sense of belonging and validates our place within a community.

2. Psychological Needs:

• Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs: The need for belongingness and love, and then esteem, are fundamental human needs in Maslow's hierarchy, ranking above basic physiological and safety needs. Approval from others contributes directly to these levels, making us feel loved, accepted, and valued.
• Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: For many, external validation acts as a mirror, reflecting back a sense of their own worth. When we receive approval, compliments, or praise, it can boost our confidence and reaffirm our abilities. Conversely, a lack of approval or criticism can lead to feelings of inadequacy and low self-esteem.
• Fear of Rejection and Judgment: This is a powerful motivator. Many people seek approval to avoid the pain of being rejected, criticized, or judged. This fear can stem from childhood experiences where acceptance felt conditional.
• Dopamine Release: Receiving external validation, like likes on social media or compliments, can trigger the release of dopamine, a "feel-good" neurotransmitter in the brain. This creates a temporary sense of pleasure and satisfaction, which can lead to a desire to repeat behaviors that elicit this response.
• Social Comparison: We often compare ourselves to others to gauge our own performance, appearance, and social standing. Seeking approval can be a way to ensure we measure up favorably in these comparisons.

3. Childhood Experiences:

• Early Conditioning: Our early experiences, particularly with caregivers, heavily influence our need for approval. Children who receive consistent approval and validation tend to develop a stronger internal sense of self-worth. Those who experience neglect, criticism, or conditional acceptance may grow up with a persistent need for external validation.
• Learning Behavior: As children, we naturally look to our parents for recognition and validation when we accomplish something. This teaches us that external feedback is a way to understand if we've done "a good thing."

4. Societal and Cultural Factors:

• Social Norms: Society often has unspoken rules and expectations. Conforming to these norms can lead to increased social acceptance. Deviating from them can result in social exclusion.
• Social Media: The digital age has intensified the pursuit of approval. Platforms that revolve around "likes," "shares," and comments provide constant opportunities for external validation, which can become addictive and lead to an unhealthy reliance on others' opinions for self-worth.

 

Botton line is this - you seek peoples approval because you don’t know you you have Gods approval. 

Look one of my favorite memories is competing as a powerlifter and pulling 670 in Masters division one - it was a grind… drug free, no suit, just me and the iron - and when I was done I had Donnie Thompson who was at the judges table taking numbers call me over and tell me that it was a great lift. Donnie thompson is on the mount Rushmore of powerlifters. The first one ever to hit a 3000 pound total. When he says Great lift - it doens’t really matter what anyone else thinks. He is the king of powerlifting. Well we serve another king who is the King of the world, the universe… and when we know we have his approval - nothing else matters. 

Galatians 1:10 Obviously, I’m not trying to win the approval of people, but of God. If pleasing people were my goal, I would not be Christ’s servant.

OOOHhhhh this is sooo good. Did you catch it? You serve the one who’s approval you seek. So whomever you are hoping to be approved by - you will do whatever it takes to show them you are their servant. The world loves suckers like you. 

I live my life on one simple rule… If I know my relationship with God is good… then I don’t give two cats meows about what anyone else thinks about me, what I do, what I say, where I go, what I believe in, what I stand for or what I preach or post on social media. I don’t care - because God approves of me. 

How do you know God approves of you? Well you don’t earn it. You don’t have to be special, you don’t have to be good enough… you simply trust in his grace and his work on the cross. And here is the real secret, when you know you have Gods approval, you are free to be exactly who he created you to be.