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Making men MEN again. The David Alliance will help you slay your giants.
Episodes
Thursday Jul 27, 2023
Thursday Jul 27, 2023
Wake the faith up
v1… I want you to know how hard I am contending for you
GK = Ag-own A spectacle in THEE arena. THE ROMAN ARENA… YOU KNEW ONLY ONE WOULD WALK OUT ALIVE… IT MIGHT BE A GLADIATOR, A LION, ANOTHER PERSON…
This word carries 5 motifs behind it:
- 1 It is a fight that demands the expenditure of all of our energies
- 2 GK = Ag-own The struggle means denial
- 3 GK - The word understands an antagonist
an enemy, a struggle, a fight, dangers, catastrophes, obstacles…
REMEMBER THE GK WORD IS AG-OWN… as in
AGONY.
Have you ever been told or heard the lie “if you accept Jesus all your problems go away and he makes everything better”.
No he does not take away all your problems and life does not get better in the sense that there are no more battles to be fought in your life!
If you contend for someone… you are understanding that you are choosing to take on an antagonist, a well known enemy called satan.
However you are not on your own when you contend.
Col. 2: 13 When you were dead in your sins and in the uncircumcision of your flesh, God made you[d] alive with Christ. He forgave us all our sins, 14 having canceled the charge of our legal indebtedness, which stood against us and condemned us; he has taken it away, nailing it to the cross. 15 And having disarmed the powers and authorities, he made a public spectacle of them, triumphing over them by the cross.
He makes a public spectacle of them… to expose and disgrace. Ever stand up to give a speech and your zipper is down… well its this times 10K.
We will contend and in fact when taking on the enemy we will expose him and what Christ has done on the cross… in order to humiliate satan and the forces of evil.
- 4 AG OWN - MARTYRDOM
Faithful to commit it all… I will choose to lay down my life for someone else as I contend for them.
You know many times gladiators fought for their freedom, rare they would also fight for someone else’s freedom. Much like today, rare for those of us who call ourselves Christ followers do we contend or fight for others…
on a side note, back in the days of Rome, women fantasized about marrying a gladiator… they were proven. And if they were willing to fight for someone else’s freedom… they were the most revered, wanted and sexy men alive to women…. just a side note. But again, I have always said “the most sexy man alive is the one who can hear Gods voice, obey it and lead his family in the present evil age.”
I have good news and bad news…
BAD NEWS: supreme resistance is not fighting until you win… its fighting until you die.
GOOD NEWS: When we die in Christ, we live and we win.
So today, take time to contend for a brother or a sister in Christ who is in need… or for your pastor - life as a pastor in todays world is harder than ever.
Wednesday Jul 26, 2023
Wednesday Jul 26, 2023
Wake the faith up
Why not another follow up to the marriage series… I will tell you why - it has been the number 1 downloaded series in our history. Lots of comments and questions coming is- so i thought I would wait a week or two and come back to it so i can tackle the whole kit and kaboodle all at once. But for today… Im going to teach you how to hate your mother, brother, father and anybody else you know.
v1… 2 I want you to know how hard I am contending for you and for those at Laodicea, and for all who have not met me personally.
I want you to know how hard I am contending for you
GK = Ag-own A spectacle in THEE arena. THE ROMAN ARENA… YOU KNEW ONLY ONE WOULD WALK OUT ALIVE… IT MIGHT BE A GLADIATOR, A LION, ANOTHER PERSON…
This word carries 5 motifs behind it:
- 1 It is a fight that demands the expenditure of all of our energies
- 2 GK = Ag-own The struggle means denial
Not asceticism… no food, drink, pleasure, no money, no position.
It means denial of your will and accepting Gods will.
So it might mean not taking that job with the huge raise… not because God is against money or the job, but because he has a different plan for you.
In the natural you get a job offer, better company, better money, better state to live in, better perks, better retirement… and it is a no brainer… accept to contend means you will deny what seems good or even great for what is right. See, behind the scenes God might know that your witness is crucial to having your CEO come to Christ or even the woman in the cafeteria… God knows that when that person comes to Christ their influence alone will win thousands to Christ… and it all hinges on you staying at your job to finalize the testimony to this person.
The average person calls you nuts! But God calls you faithful and he will reward you beyond any job the world offers you.
It might be good, morally right and selfless… but not be what God wants.
In the arena it is understood that you made this decision before you ever took on the battle. YOU COUNTED THE COST. You didn’t just hop the fence and say “give me a shot… I like swords and lions”. NO NO NO, you contend because you counted the cost.
Jesus said in Luke 14:25-34 be willing to hate your mother, brother, father, brothers, sisters, your own children… and yes even your own life - or you can’t be his disciple.
LET ME CLARIFY - I believe you can be a Christian in todays world, but not be a disciple/Christ follower A CONTENDER.
Jesus goes on in these verses: Count the cost: Would you build a building… would you go to war - without counting the cost? These are not just two random examples…
We are Gods temple! A building… count the cost
Eph. 6 we are in a spiritual war… would you go to war without counting the cost.
I count the cost, I will contend for those in the faith. I will contend for those who do not yet know God. SAY IT WITH ME… I AM A CONTENDER!
Tuesday Jul 25, 2023
Tuesday Jul 25, 2023
Wake the faith up
v1… 2 I want you to know how hard I am contending for you and for those at Laodicea, and for all who have not met me personally.
I want you to know how hard I am contending for you
Paul states here how he has been praying for the church in Colosse… he does’t know them personally, he himself is in prison awaiting execution but he is contending for them… Unless you don’t understand the meaning of this word “contending” you don’t realize how strange it is
GK = Ag-own A spectacle in THEE arena. THE ROMAN ARENA… YOU KNEW ONLY ONE WOULD WALK OUT ALIVE… IT MIGHT BE A GLADIATOR, A LION, ANOTHER PERSON…
This word carries 5 motifs behind it:
- 1 It is a fight that demands the expenditure of all of our energies
*The struggle allows for no indolence, no relaxation, no meandering, no indecision, no procrastination,
NO ONE GOES INTO WAR AND HAS THE MINDSET… I HOPE TO ONLY GET SHOT A FEW TIMES!
The spiritual walk (Paul calls it a race)
One of the mindsets behind this word is its a passionate struggle for life… but again not your life, but for someone else’s life.
**and Paul is in this context meaning a struggle over someone else’s life. You might be thinking… I have enough struggles over my life…
A GREAT QUESTION: Have you ever struggled over someone else’s life? MY SON REESE!
Kids in my youth group.
And yes some of you and your family members.
Contend!!! to the end!!!
Monday Jul 24, 2023
Monday Jul 24, 2023
Wake the faith up
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - Check
Honor - Check
Serve - Check
Submit - Next Up
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
The Jezebel spirit… now this is a hot topic right now in Christian circles. It is being covered by Mark Driscoll, Isaiah Salvador, Vlad Svchuk, Robert Morris, Jimmy Evans and many many others…
To identify a Jezebel spirit in woman (and it can be a man - but today I will talk to men) one must ask if your wife wants to Respect you, love you, honor you, serve you and submit to you….
NOW she may have a hard time doing it, she may struggle, but at her core she should say “I truly want to be that woman for my husband”. But there are many women who would rather have their arms cut off than to say Yes I want to be that type of wife to my husband. If you feel like your wife is in the latter case she definitely has a Jezebel spirit… and again, men can have them to.
What are the key characteristics of the JEZ spirit?
Manipulation REV. 2:18
Control
Selfishness
Authoritative
The word Jezebel actually means Unhinged or unmarried. The woman who is under the control of the Jezebel spirit has no regard for marriage, because marriage is about being under authority. She has no regard for things that are holy, like her vows, because she is demonic and is anti holy.
What does a Jezebel spirit do to get her way?
Whine, pout, demand, withdraw, Self righteous, use sex or the lack of it, name call, seduce, intimidate, Gossip about you to others including family members,
And she will not talk about it… you will have conversations like this with her…. “oh, its me,Im the problem, its always me, your perfect… you know what- Im don’t talking about this”. That is all four characteristics: Manipulation, Control, Selfishness, Taking on the authority in the relationship.
And guess what?
The spouse has allowed it… Now I will speak to men for the most part. You have the spirit of Ahab… Ahab allowed Jezebel to be in control. That is a topic for a whole other podcast… but look into it.
So once you determine that your spouse is operating under the spirit of Jezebel what do you do?
Well lets go in the order of importance.
- repent -you allowed it and you did not stand up and be the head of the household.
- Pray over your house, your life, your spouse
- Get your ducks in a row before you take on the spirit and confront your wife. Maybe you caved in and now your spiritual walk is a mess, shallow, mundane or worse yet -phony. Get your walk in order at least a few weeks before moving forward.
- Prepare for battle… she will throw everything in the book at you. Get ready to go without sex for maybe weeks or months - and don’t beg for it, or you yourself try to manipulate her for it. Keep praying and keep seeking Gods grace.
- When you are ready to confront her, do it with grace and start out by confessing you we’re not being the husband you were supposed to be and you are now seeking Gods guidance to be the head of the house.
- Start to gently but firmly put your foot down and explain that when you as the husband now disagree, you will take time to pray about it and then you will let her know your decision.
- explain to your wife that there are 3 types of relationships. There are healthy relationships, unhealthy relationships and No relationships. And you will no longer tolerate unhealthy relationships so if she is going to pout, whine, complain, manipulate, sulk, withdraw, etc… you will choose to back off and have no relationship in that area… explain you will still have a relationship with her and love her… but in that one area you will choose to not talk about it or be moved forward on it.
A line you may use at your own discretion is this… Are you telling me or are you asking me. If you are asking me that that means we can discuss it, but if we can’t discuss it, than it means you are telling me and I don’t take orders. But I will pray about it and get back to you on the matter.
Here are things that will happen in most cases.
When you expose the Jezebel spirit - it will be come weaker even though it will fight back. You will have a greater intimacy with God in your quiet time and devotions. You will begin to notice rewards in your own life… this is biblical as we see in Revelation When Jesus talks about coming against the spirit of Jezebel.
You will actually feel your love rekindled with your spouse because you see how they are being manipulated by this evil spirit.
Finally, most women will at some point begin to move in line and become followers of their husbands as the husband continues to seek God. Some will not… but they will understand that they are in error and sin.
I would recommend that everyone goes through deliverance, but especially those dealing with the Jezebel spirit.
Friday Jul 21, 2023
Friday Jul 21, 2023
Wake the faith up
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - Check
Honor - Check
Serve - Check
Submit - Next Up
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
1 Peter 3:1 Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives,
Ladies this again speaks of the power of submission… but lets continue.
2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4 Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her
Christ gave up his life… for the church. He did not give it up because she whined… He gave up his life for what is best for the church. Husbands you don’t have to die to every single request you wife makes, unless it is for what is best for your marriage… not just her, but both of you. Which means you may both disagree and need time to pray about it.
In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
I don’t know of anyone who hates himself outright. God calls us to love our wives as we love ourselves. That means to love your wife in the way she wants to be loved and not the way you want to be loved. Again, knowing it will benefit the marriage and not just one party.
Nevertheless, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
We are typically pretty forgiving of our mistakes, our sins and our laziness. We let a lot of things slide in our lives with little or no consequence. We are over weight, we are loud, some are lazy, some do not really read and pray, some have not pushed themselves to be the best in certain areas… and we are ok with that…. BUUUUUT, if it’s our wives- sometimes we are unfair in holding their feet to the fire.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
Harsh - embitter, exasperate them, wear them out to where they just don’t care anymore and they just don’t love you anymore.
Here is what you need to do.
1 Peter 3:7 Live a life that does not hinder your spiritual walk… There is nothing more sexy than a man who loves God, hears God speak to him, has a proven track record of hearing God and obeying, and with that who is willing to admit his mistakes, and ask for forgiveness when he blows it.
but men do you make it easy for your wives to respect, love, honor, serve and submit to you as a husband? THATS YOUR JOB #1 IN YOUR MARRIAGE.
MONDAY - WHAT IS THE JEZEBEL SPIRIT IN MARRIAGE AND HOW TO DEAL WITH IT.
Thursday Jul 20, 2023
Thursday Jul 20, 2023
Wake the faith up
2 men sitting in the park when a beautiful woman jogs by… the one man remarks… man she is a fox. To which the woman stops in her tracks, turns to the 2 men and says “I can’t believe in todays world you would be so ignorant to refer to a woman as an animal, you both are complete male chauvinist pigs”… uh, yea… hypocrisy… with men and women
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - Check
Honor - Check
Serve - Check
Submit - Next Up
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
And today might in fact be the hardest one of all for women to swallow… this pill is big, bad tasting, and might make you choke…. Or - it just might save your marriage!
But as hard as it is for many women to talk about submission, I have found the ones who bristle the most are the ones who expect exactly the opposite in their marriages… they want the man to do what they want…uhmmm… thats submission.
So we both need to park our attitudes and preconceived mindsets at the front desk as we take a look at this.
In each of the three sections of Paul’s household code (Eph. 5:22–33; 6:1–4; 6:5–9), he first addresses those who are under authority (wives, children, and slaves) before addressing those in positions of authority (husbands, parents, and masters). Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands. The words “your own” (idios) indicate that Paul is addressing “wives” and not “women” generally.
They also indicate that a wife is not expected to submit to everyone’s husband, but specifically her own husband. The use of the middle voice of the verb (carried over from Eph. 5:21) emphasizes the voluntary nature of the submission. In other words, Paul says that a wife is to submit willingly to her husband but nowhere does he say that husbands are to demand submission from their wives, because they should not need to do so. Next, Paul offers a comparison (“as to the Lord”), which provides motivation for women’s submission to their husbands. When a woman voluntarily submits to her husband, she is simultaneously submitting to the Lord.
The prepositional phrase “in everything” should not be taken absolutely, since a wife should not submit to her husband in matters that are sinful, harmful, or contrary to God’s commands. this is just speaking in context of man/husband who loves his wife and submits to God.
And these words are not conditioned on the husband’s love for his wife. Although there may be exceptions, the focus of the passage is on the importance of the wife’s willing submission to the leadership of her husband (even if her husband is an unbeliever).
Self-Sacrificial Love
After commanding wives to submit to their husbands, Paul turns his attention to the husbands by commanding them to love their wives. Based on other ancient texts, it is somewhat unexpected that Paul urges husbands to love their wives instead of urging them to rule over or domineer their wives. In extrabiblical Jewish literature, husbands were rarely exhorted to love their wives, and the verb “love” (agapaō) was never used in Greco-Roman household codes in relation to the duties of husbands. Here the command is to follow Christ in the way of love. The fact that this exhortation is repeated signifies its importance (Eph. 5:28, 33; cf. Col. 3:19)
So lets dumb it down. I have only met a few women… I believe 2 if my memory serves me right, who say they would not submit to their husbands if they were Godly men. that is the spirit of Jezebel - and YEP we are going to cover that in this series. But what these woman are basically saying is… I aint submitting to My hubby, any man or God.
But regardless, women here is the key, tell your husbands you would love to submit to them as they grow in their ability to hear God and lead your family. And as his example to love her as Christ loved the church. And ladies remember Jesus did not always do the fun sweet things for the church, and the church will actually go through some tough times, currently and in the end times…
Let me make this as clear as possible. Women if you are looking for a reason to not submit to your husbands, you will always find one. But if you are looking for ways to grow in Christ and submit to God - your husband is the best way to do just that. All the while encouraging him to be more like Jesus.
Wednesday Jul 19, 2023
Wednesday Jul 19, 2023
Wake the faith up
Is this series outdated, narrow-minded, old fashioned, does it fly in the face of modern women… sure, yes it does. but does that make it wrong? Does that mean you have a right to not follow it? NOPE.
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - Check
Honor - Check
Serve - Next Up
Submit
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
Genesis 2:18 it is not good for man to be alone, I will make a help mate for him.
A helper, a server - not a servant.
If you tuned in to this podcast thinking I was going to talk about how your wife should be your servant.. ah ah - NO. but should she serve you? Should she serve along side you? Yes.
You ask me.. Garth, what is the difference?
Well first let me just say there are multiple verses about wives loving their husbands, helping their husbands, submitting to their husbands, respecting their husbands, caring for their husbands… all of this implies to some great degree of serving your husband… as scripture tells us to serve one another, husbands are also to serve their wives…
BUT WHAT I AM REALLY GETTING AT IS THIS.
You best serve your husband by serving God, what does God say about marriage and are you following his guidelines… I won’t repeat all my other points at this time, but its a good place to start when trying to serve God.
But there is a deeper meaning… Wives best serve their husbands by helping him serve God. Now you may be the wife who comes along side and helps him as he serves in the youth ministry, or you may help him as he serves in a para-church ministry like young life or a pro-life ministry. Or you may help him serve at church in teaching… point being you may actually be doing much of the ministry he is doing and or parts of it- all the while by his side.
OR… you may serve him as he serves God in a specific ministry. Let me put it to you this way…
I have always said “my role, my ministry is being a pastor, preacher, teacher… My wife has always said her ministry is ME. Yea you heard that right, her ministry is taking care of me so that I can be a better minister. Yes, she reads and prays, and shares Christ with others, she is involved in church… but maybe not as much as other women because other women do not have husbands that are in full time ministry (and might I add I have 4 other businesses that I am running, and 2 other ministries that I either run or am heavily involved in) And to be quite frank, I could not do it as easily or in as optimal health and strength if she was not serving me.
Do I love her asking me if I need anything? Do I love when she brings out a cold ice tea when I am reading on the deck? Do I love it if she asks if I would like to come to bed with her? 1000% yes, but I mostly love her serving me, so that I can serve God better… she truly makes me better by serving me. Men, maybe your wives are not serving you as much as you would like because you are not involved in serving God. And wives, regardless if your husbands are or are not - God still calls you to serve your husband as unto the Lord.
Tuesday Jul 18, 2023
Tuesday Jul 18, 2023
Wake the faith up
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - Check
Honor - Next up
Serve
Submit
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
Honor GK tee-may accord honor, pay respect") – properly, perceived value; worth (literally, "price") especially as perceived honor – i.e. what has value in the eyes of the beholder; (figuratively) the value (weight, honor) willingly assigned to something.
Lets dumb this down for those who went to public school like me: You honor your husband and his value… and why is he valuable? Because he saw the value in you, and chose you above others.
It’s like this - someone gives you a brand new Zora Corvette - it is a limited production corvette, very rare… do you honor the car and take care of it? Yes… but you also honor the person who gave it to you because they chose you.
Ladies, you are given a Saint Laurent handbag valued at 4k… do you honor and take care of that YES - do you also honor the person who gave it to you? Yes.
You don’t honor your husband because you are subservient, and he demands it, and scripture commands it… no. Think about it - he could date a hundred different woman, for a hundred different reasons… but he honored you by choosing you and now you can honor his decision by honoring him.
The danger when we speak of this post marriage is women disguise their lack of honor by saying… well if I had known then what I know now- I would have married someone who loved me better, took care of me better, made my life easier - AND THEN I WOULD HONOR THEM. Again, thats not honor, that is blackmail.
I am not saying if your husband is violent, abusive (and lets be honest, that term is overused in todays world… but anyway) if you are physically in danger, get out, move out, divorce him. But usually in todays world we think that if marriage isn’t easy, we married the wrong person. Everyone marries the wrong person… everyone is a mismatch.
Lets chase a rabbit for a second… our enemy satan blows things out of proportion when it comes to marriage issues because he knows it causes greater destruction…
Ok, again let me explain. When we hear a sermon on “love your neighbor as you love yourself” We realize we need Gods help, his strength, his wisdom, his grace in order to love our neighbors (and neighbor means anyone we are currently around in life) if this was a sermon we would all say amen, yes I need to work on that.
But when it comes to our spouse… our husband, we cringe, we lash out, we make excuses, we falter, we blow it off - because again, if satan can get us to neglect the responsibilities God has given us for marriage he knows it will destroy the family and ultimately America. God is so in love with the idea of marriage - he created it and he uses it as his example of the church and the Father.
Now I will say it again… what I am called to do during hard times, suffering, discouragement… especially in marriage - what I am called to do is gut busting hard - but I won’t waste this opportunity to call on Gods grace and allow his spirit to flow in me, through me and make me more like Jesus.
Ladies, is it hard to Love, Respect and Honor your husbands? Don’t waste this opportunity to be more like Jesus.
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Wake the faith up
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - NEXT UP
Honor
Serve
Submit
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
I will again admit in todays world many women wince and actually manifest visible agitation when one mentions loving their husband… as if it is their only job when it comes to their role as a wife.
Love your husband.
But again I believe God knows what he is doing when he writes in his word…
Titus 2:4 wives “to love their husbands.”
What are types of love a Godly woman should give her husband?
First lets admit.. men are imperfect, flawed and broken - and with that being said maybe the most important aspect of loving your husband is
unconditional acceptance.accept your husband just as he is—an imperfect person.
It’s pretty simple, you can stop loving your husband when he becomes perfect… and he can stop loving you when you become perfect. Point being - love is only truly love when you love those who at the moment have not earned it - for if one must earn love, they are not truly being loved, only rewarded according to our standard.
I sure don’t want God to hold that type of love over me… Because I could never meet his standard.
Second great way to love your husband is to tell him how much you love his Godly traits… yes, he may not have many, but the more you point those out and love him for them you will notice more, and you help nurture even more Christ like behavior. Remember God calls us to repentance by his kindness… it is your kindness to your husband that leads to greater alignment to who God is… that is a part of repentance.
Love also means committing to a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship. I knew it was going to come down to sex again… just like a male podcaster to push sex. Actually last time I brought this up I had a few women give me some push back…and I get it, however scripture tells wives not to deny their husbands sex…
Yes… there is a whole lot more to love than sex, but lets look at how to fulfill God’s command to love your husband. So you gotta look at love from their perspective, not just your own.
again and again Surveys show that sex is one of a man’s most important needs—if not the most important from his wife. - and it todays culture there are many options for temptation to crawl in and many doors satan will open for the man who’s wife is not willing to love her husband in bed. Scripture is clear 1 Cor. 7:5 So don't refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
When a wife resists intimacy, or is uninterested, or is only passively interested, or its the old “just go ahead” with the enthusiasm of a dead fish - her husband will feel like he is an inconvenience to her… Like “was I a mistake you made in marrying me? her husband may feel rejection. It will eat away at his self-image, and create distance and isolation in the relationship. And the sad thing is that women don’t see the cycle they have just created in their marriage… They reason “well he is so disconnected why would he think I would want to have sex with him”
Break that pattern now for the sake of your marriage.
Let me read a quote from Barbara Rainey who is a leading expert in Christian marriage.
My husband’s sexual needs should be more important and higher on my priority list than housework, projects, activities, and even the children. It does not mean that I should think about sex all day and every day, but it does mean that I find ways to remember my husband and his needs. It means I save some of my energy for him. This keeps me from being selfish and living only for my own needs and wants. Maintaining that focus helps me defeat isolation in our marriage.
The truth is that if a mans number one temptation in life is sexual in nature… it must also be his number one need… and only one person in the whole world is given that responsibility to fulfill it.
Thursday Jul 13, 2023
Thursday Jul 13, 2023
Wake the faith up
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect
Love
Honor
Serve
Submit
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
The woman who hated her husband and wanted to divorce him. She went to a lawyer… how much do you hate him, do you want him to suffer…
Conclusion
Why would I ever divorce such a loving amazing man
Nancy Anderson wrote an amazing article for Crosswalk regarding loving your husband through respect. She states she and her husband were on the brink of divorce…and he was argumentative, defensive and angry… but she realized he was only that way because of her lacking respect and being controlling. She was convicted and came up with 3 things that I don’t think I can improve on.
VIP
Verbal respect: pull back on arguing, complaining and pointing out what is lacking and add more compliments, verbal affection
Verbal respect is like the seasoning in your marriage
I intellect
Respect your husbands intellect. How many women treat their husbands like they are just stupid. They speak and act with disdain towards him.
Men want to fix things… let them. Thank them for their opinion and then let them know how you feel afterwards and that you will think and pray over their thoughts.
Instead of telling them their wrong, ask them KINDLY to explain their opinion or ideas behind what they say. *truth be told there is very very very little that is actually right or wrong… its always a matter of opinion. Women do not disrespect your husband intellectually just because his opinion is different… its not wrong, just different.
P is for Physical
Respect your husband physically.
How you look… yes your physical appearance,
How you take care of his physical needs (laundry, cooking, how the kids are taken care of)
Physical as in sexual needs.
Ladies, if you are listening… there are a lot of men out there who are trying,,,, sincerely trying… they are not perfect - they are burning out… they won’t leave you - but they are checking out mentally, emotionally, physically… not out of hate or bitterness, but out of self preservation. Their fuel is respect, it feeds them… and you are not giving it to them and they are pulling back just in order to survive.