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Making men MEN again. The David Alliance will help you slay your giants.
Episodes
Friday Mar 24, 2023
Friday Mar 24, 2023
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what can a 10 second hug do?
1 dopamine
2 creates a safe environment for vulnerability
3 relieve stress and boost immune system
4 and 5 Reignites physical affection and physical attraction
6 opens up avenues of communication
Aaaaand #7 a ten second hug is territorial. It simply says you are mine!
Let me be quite frank… I don’t want you coming up during church and hugging my wife from the front… nor does my wife want women coming up and hugging me from the front… either way - NO BOOBY hugs!
I teach on Proxemics OR the science of space no not astronomy… but on space and territory in human behavior. One of the illustrations I do is showing people how when I hug someone my hand on the back - or the placement of that hand says a lot about how well I think I know that person.
If I hug them and my hand is just on the top of the shoulder…(12 o’clock) I barely know them
If My hand is on their mid back, I know them pretty well,
If my hand is on their lower back I really know them
and if my hand is on their buttocks I better be married to them… because that is intimacy!
Have you ever been dancing with your partner or spouse and you grab their butt? Ever hugged them really close in public?
Ever been away from them for a week or longer and when you see them you grab them and hang on for a good 20 seconds…
What is all this saying? YOU ARE MINE!
Now wether you do it in public or not- it still screams THIS IS MY TERRITORY… HANDS OFF!
Song of Solomon 8:6
Set me as a seal upon your heart, As a seal upon your arm; For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame.
This is a love song from a bride to her groom… interesting that it is from a woman’s perspective…yet is very applicable to a man.
Why was such jealousy aroused in this scripture? Well in the verse before it says we are leaning on each other… physical touch. It aroused jealousy or in other words territorial obsession. When you hug you are sealing the deal… verse 6 says you are a seal on my heart. Look we all want stuff to be fresh… I like fresh veggies, fresh fruit, fresh paint, fresh bread… a good seal does that. Does your relationship feel stale??? Maybe you need to work on your seal.
Look here is what I am trying to get at… there are millions of people who simply feel unwanted in marriage, in relationships - because they no longer have that territorial touch or connection.
being Territorial has a lot to do with identity as a couple. I want people to know we are a THANG…
I WANT MY WIFE TO KNOW AND FEEL WE ARE A THANG! A hug does that if it is more than 10 seconds.
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
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what can a 10 second hug do?
1 dopamine
2 creates a safe environment for vulnerability
3 relieve stress and boost immune system
4 and 5 Reignites physical affection and physical attraction
6 opens up avenues of communication
In fact you are probably like most people thinking we used to talk all the time. I bet you used to hug all the time as well… for more than a quick goodbye squeeze.
Haptic communication is a branch of nonverbal communication that refers to the ways in which people and animals communicate and interact via the sense of touch. Touch is the most sophisticated and intimate of the five senses.
If I was mad at you… how would I touch you to let you know?
If I cared for you… how would I touch you?
If I wanted to introduce myself to you…
If I wanted to make you laugh
If I wanted to ask a question….
If I needed something from you….
If I wanted you to touch me…
If I was upset how would I touch you…
Words are powerful… absolutely. But touch is not only powerful but tangible - you feel what I am saying and not just hear what I am saying.
Why do you think Jesus washed the disciples feet? yes it was a sign of servitude and selflessness. But it was also tactile. It was touch.
Luke 7:36-50 When the prostitute came to Jesus during the meal with the Pharisee what did she do? Did she talk to Jesus? NO
She cried tears on his feet… this was a form of touch… it can be very powerful if you have ever had someone in pain and their tears fall on you…
She wiped his feet off with her hair - that was physical touch
She poured perfume on his feet and again wiped his feet off… again physical touch…
Her words were none, and yet her touch screamed at the top of her lungs… I need you, I am sorry, I am repentant, forgive me.
But the Pharisee did not understand nor care to see the truth.
Jesus said “this woman was in great need of forgiveness and it was from touch that it came”
Everything that she needed without a word spoken because of touch. Just think what a 10 second hug can do for you and your spouse… now just think what it could do if you hug every day.
Wednesday Mar 22, 2023
Wednesday Mar 22, 2023
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I once had a man in my office during counseling admit to me that he got his hair cut and trimmed and washed about 2 times a month. The reason was he was married and his wife never touched him anymore… and he said he literally needed to be touched to feel normal and this was a safe way for him to feel touched and cared for.
what can a 10 second hug do?
1 dopamine
2 creates a safe environment for vulnerability
3 relieve stress and boost immune system
4 Today… reignites physical affection
a 10 second hug is a powerful reminder without using words to say I really love you. I say I love you to my kids and my wife all the time… I say it to my grandkids 2 and 3 times a day (they live with me, so that makes it easy) but the reality is simply this: familiarity makes those words have less of an impact. Now I know what you are thinking if you never came from a family like ours… I would never get sick of hearing that… but truth is you can have those words roll of your back like water off a duck.
And if you are trying to reignite some romance and affection into your life you and I both know that simply saying I love you does not always do it.
Have you ever played this role…
I love you, I love you too
No, I really love you… yeah I really love you too
No I mean I really really love you, more than anything…
Yeah I get it, I love you too….
AAANNNDDDD you walk away with unmet expectations.
but touch… a hug, especially a hug with some time behind it starts to touch the soul of the person you fell in love with years ago. They feel it, and you feel it.
Did you know women almost always make the first touch if they are interested in a man… and yet they are many times the first to quit hugging in a relationship.
But lets look at it from this perspective… a hug for more than 10 seconds is truly meant to be non-sexual. It is simply to connect… but when connection is made and you build on that hug with another hug and another hug and your days are filled with a 10 second hug… it turns that non-sexual hug many times into a roaring infatuation with your spouse again. You once again are attracted to your spouse… and you begin to be attracted to who they are as a person, as a soul and as a part of your life… and not just their body.
Why did you stop touching in the first place? Well it typically is apathy and or hurt. When we give up doing what is important apathy storms the relationship and causes us to compare our dreams with reality - but only form our side of the coin. And when trust is broken, we don’t want to touch… but we need to all the more in order to help heal that breach.
Think of Jesus who came to an earth that he knew would hate him, beat him, reject him and crucify him…
Regardless of where you are in your walk with your spouse or your partner… don’t wait to hug them… you are one spark away from a full blown 5 alarm fire.
Tuesday Mar 21, 2023
Tuesday Mar 21, 2023
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what can a 10 second hug do?
A long hug boosts your immune system. It reduces stress and stress is toxic to your whole body… and stress is what causes wrinkles… want less wrinkles? go hug someone!
Get in a happy mood with a hug…
helps inspire positive thinking and an optimistic outlook on the world. Oxytocin also generates feelings of compassion during interactions. This can contribute to an expansion of trust among individuals during social situations.
Reduce social anxiety and stress
Physical touch increases levels of dopamine and serotonin, two neurotransmitters that help regulate your mood and relieve stress and anxiety associated with social situations or social dominoes… what I mean is there is a things called the tipping effect where things build up and your body acts out in some negative fashion - anger, over eating, spending, heart attack… a hundred different ways.
Boost immune system and lowers your blood pressure
I preach often in a facility for the elderly. I always try to hug as many people as possible when I am there and they notice it and thank me. Think about it.. many of these people are dropped off in this home and never get any physical attention ever again. I also have spoken to many times to kids ages 8 and under and I will end the class with stating that I love hugs and if anyone else loves hugs I will trade them one of my hugs for one of their hugs… I get swamped!
So you don’t want to hug someone… you don’t feel like it, they don’t deserve it, it is not acceptable to how you grew up… it will look bad in public…
Matthew 8:2,3 One day a man with leprosy came and knelt before Jesus and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” He said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy
Now lets not get nit picky about the difference between a hug and a touch… in this actual real life story… the touch was a huge deal, and in fact breaking the law.
What Jesus did was extremely intimate and shifted the planet in front of the public’s eye. He did not care.
In the publics eye, he did not deserve a touch, or healing… Jesus did not care.
This man hadn’t been touched in years… he did not care.
This man needed healing physically and emotionally… Jesus DID CARE
Finally Jesus touch not only affected him mentally, physically and emotionally but also spiritually.
Hug your partner your spouse your kids, your parents… put the excuses away and kill the stressing and increase the blessing.
Monday Mar 20, 2023
Monday Mar 20, 2023
Brought to you by wellbuiltbody.com
97X PODBEAN Apple Podcast
Mingle Mate Marry podcast for anyone in a relationship.
When was the last time you hugged someone… I mean really hugged them… more than just a quick squeeze or man hand slap hug bounce… but really felt their body heat… hopefully it was with your spouse… but thats where we are going today.
1 Cor. 6:18Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a man can commit is outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body.…
Glorify God… this passage is right in the middle of talking about sexual pleasure and purity in marriage. It is telling us how to honor or Glorify God in marriage through our physical appetites. How in a sense to be connected to just our spouse.
So lets kick off a 7 step plan on why you should hug your spouse longer than 10 seconds…
#1 was it releases dopamine into your brain and your partners.
which makes it addictive… which is good because of the other things it brings about through that hug….
which leads us to #2
A long hug creates a safe environment in which to share intimate feelings, ideas and goals.
WE cannot share the intimate things needed to grow in our relationship if we do not feel like we can be vulnerable. WE cannot share intimate things we need to deepen our love without being vulnerable.
Vulnerability is a state of emotional exposure that comes with a certain degree of uncertainty. It involves a person's willingness to accept the emotional risk that comes from being open and willing to love and be loved. The fear of vulnerability is a very common fear.
Jesus was incredibly vulnerable. He laid down his God’ness and took up humanity… he became man. that is like us choosing to be naked the rest of our life…
But vulnerability is what draws us to God. It was his humanity that made him approachable. Look when angels showed up people fell in fear… When God shows up in God form we would all probably do the same X’s 10. But God knew if he sent Jesus, it would make him available to us. So that we could come to him and be vulnerable with our sins, our struggles, our questions… and yes even our pride… remember when the disciples were arguing in front of Jesus who was the greatest in the kingdom. Luke 22:22-24
You would not be having that argument in the presence of God…. but you could in the presence of Jesus. He allowed you to be vulnerable.
So check it out… you may actually remember or sense this happening when you hug your spouse… you soften, they soften and then one of you shares something personal… maybe even vulnerable. It is a great moment in your life to take advantage of…
Don’t let it slip pass you. Make time every day to hug, hold the hug, smell your partner, listen to them breathe, feel their lungs move, feel their body heat feel their embrace and their hands… after 10 seconds you will feel the walls coming down and the desire to share and talk flare up.
Friday Mar 17, 2023
Friday Mar 17, 2023
Brought to you by wellbuiltbody.com
97X PODBEAN Apple Podcast
Mingle Mate Marry podcast for anyone in a relationship.
When was the last time you hugged someone… I mean really hugged them… more than just a quick squeeze or man hand slap hug bounce… but really felt their body heat… hopefully it was with your spouse… but thats where we are going today.
1 Cor. 6:18Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a man can commit is outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20you were bought at a price. Therefore glorify God with your body.…
Glorify God… this passage is right in the middle of talking about sexual pleasure and purity in marriage. It is telling us how to honor or Glorify God in marriage through our physical appetites. How in a sense to be connected to just our spouse.
So lets kick off a 7 step plan on why you should hug your spouse longer than 10 seconds… you say Garth where is this going? Well we honor God when we honor our spouse… they are a gift from God and physical affection inside marriage is a gift from God and when we use it the right way we actually are worshiping God or honoring him.
So why should you hug your spouse more than 10 seconds…
Dopamine.
It is the pleasure drug.
Chocolate, drugs, risky behavior… sex, and physical affection.
But why is this important? Well think about chocolate, drugs risky behavior etc… they are all highly addictive. So when you hug your spouse for more than 10 seconds you are flooding your system with a highly addictive drug/practice. you get used to hugging your spouse… why is this important… well the other 6 reasons will tell us why… but let me actually end with this.
When it comes to hugging many people tell me…well thats just not me, Im not very affectionate, I wasn’t raised that way… my spouse doesn’t like hugging - Those are all somewhat valid, they are all somewhat understandable… but none of them are good enough reasons to not practice physical affection. So just like anything else you need to do - but don’t want to do… do it anyway. It will be worth it. Trust me… and when you hear the other 6 you will know why.
GH TDA KSG
Wednesday Mar 15, 2023
Wednesday Mar 15, 2023
Brought to you by wellbuiltbody.com
97X PODBEAN Apple Podcast
Mingle Mate Marry podcast for anyone in a relationship.
I have never been poor, I have been broke many times but never poor. Poor is a mindset. Mike Todd.
A poverty mindset is demonic.
not just the poverty mindset of never having enough money, but also opportunities, health, favor, grace, power to manifest Jesus,
A poverty mindset is simply saying “Jesus is not enough”.
Look Im not saying we spend money foolishly and I am not saying that we don’t save money or invest money… but what I am saying is the mindset as to how we see money. Do you see it as available to everyone? Do you see Gods favor available to you?
It is simply having faith that God will provide what he has promised and what he has already paid for us to have.
Look in todays financial climate… it is easy to be poverty conscious and feel like there will never be enough. Inflation is extremely high, banks are failing, gas is sky high, if you are selling your house you will probably lose money… its a mindset. Oh, all these things are true but my mindset is one of abundance.
Someone asked John D. Rockefeller (of all people) "How much wealth does it
take to satisfy a person?" He replied, "Just a little bit more." The Romans
had a proverb: "Money is like sea water; the more you drink, the thirstier
you become.”
This is completely a poverty mindset… I will never have enough, and the more I get the more I will need, and the more I get the more I will need.
I love giving money away, I love giving stuff away. I bet I have given 10 guitars away, I have probably given 7K in the last year away… mostly to complete strangers… I give my stuff away all the time. But here is what is funny, I almost never give it out of an excess in my life, But I do give it out of a mindset of abundance. I recently walked in to a gas station and the a woman working there god told me to give her $160 that was in my wallet…. actually he told me to give everything I had in my wallet to her and tell her it was for her family… and THEN I realized how much it was. but at the exact same time I was in need of money for my own needs and my own family. But I can honestly say I had absolutely no reservation in giving it to her and in fact i kind of laughed and said to myself… “I wonder how God is going to meet my needs”. About 3 days later someone handed me an envelop with 2K dollars in it.
There are many weeks where I have no idea what to preach on, but I have an abundance mindset so I don’t panic. I know God is a giver and he will tell me what to preach on with enough time to study and prepare… and yes it sometimes is Saturday night… But if I let a poverty mindset take over I try to preach a sermon from the past or I preach someone else’s sermon… and you know what it might sound great, people might love it… but with no spiritual impact.
An abundance mindset says “Gods got about a million sermons he has for me”… I will just trust him.
Luke 6:38 give and it shall be given unto you…
Very common verse, but the whole contest of all these verses surrounding this verse teaches us that the mindset you operate in is what you will reap.
Be merciful and you will be treated with mercy… you may not be experiencing mercy when God calls on you to extend mercy… but you have a mercy mindset so you do it anyway. Love those who can’t love you back… and you may not be experience much love at that point, but you have a love mindset so you love anyways… and yes give money to those who will never pay you back, but you give anyways because you have an abundance mindset.
TODAY YOU ARE FREE TO LAY DOWN YOUR POVERTY MINDSET AND TO TUNE IN TO YOUR MINDSET OF ABUNDANCE.
Monday Mar 13, 2023
Monday Mar 13, 2023
Brought to you by wellbuiltbody.com
97X PODBEAN Apple Podcast
Mingle Mate Marry podcast for anyone in a relationship.
“See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no ‘root of bitterness’ springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled” (Hebrews 12:15).
"Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you" (Ephesians 4:31,32).
"When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly" (1 Peter 2:23).
1. Trust the sovereignty of God.
2. What is the root of the problem
3. Be honest with the fruit. What do I mean about that… is if you have been dealing with bitterness for a while, then the root has probably started to produce fruit in other parts of your life.
4. Renounce the spiritual forces that want to attach to your life through the bitterness.
Pray and speak out against the bitterness and ask God to indwell you and free you from any of the fruit that has been produced by your bitterness.
Bitterness has the tendency to attract demonic influences into our life… so take a stand against them.
Friday Mar 10, 2023
Friday Mar 10, 2023
Brought to you by wellbuiltbody.com
97X PODBEAN Apple Podcast
Mingle Mate Marry podcast for anyone in a relationship.
As usual…
what did he do? He did what??? well I guess that is as usual.
As usual… some of the most powerful words in the bible.
Daniel 6:10 But when Daniel learned that the law had been signed, he went home and knelt down as usual in his upstairs room, with its windows open toward Jerusalem. He prayed three times a day, just as he had always done, giving thanks to his God.
as usual… What a great line. One of the best lines in the bible and maybe one of the best lines that could be used about you in this context.
If you share the gospel at work you will be fired…
and bob that afternoon shared the gospel with the secretary… as usual. and was fired.
If you share Christ at a public school or university you will be called a close minded biggot… and they shared Christ as usual - and was tagged that through out the far left media…
How far are you willing to take the call of Christ in your life. How willing are you to continue to promote the gospel and the cause of the gospel?
When the world cries “crucify” will still as usual follow Christ?
So you know the story… Daniel breaks the law and prays to God which lands him in the kitty pool… NOT KIDDY POOL, BUT kitty as in lions… thrown into a den of lions.
All night long King Darius has to bite his nails and wonder why Daniel had to do his “as usual”. Darius loved Daniel, Darius was duped…
Darius is mad at Daniel… why didn’t you just fold on this… or why not just pray quietly in your head… why
You had to not just pray, but open up the windows as if to say… as usual… not gonna change.
Hey quick question… what is your “as usual”… maybe yours is… I will just hide my walk with Christ, I will camouflage it, I will not rock the boat… as usual.
Thats to bad that your “as usual” is not really that unusual for most Christians.
But what happens in the morning… King Darius comes out to the hole of the den and yells down into the pit… Daniel did your God save you?
Did you and Daniel says… yes King as usual.
Today remember to make serving God above all your as usual.
Thursday Mar 09, 2023
Thursday Mar 09, 2023
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You know the story right… but lets catch you up to speed.
Daniel 3
13 Then Nebuchadnezzar, in rage and fury, gave the command to bring Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego. So they brought these men before the king. 14 Nebuchadnezzar spoke, saying to them, “Is it true, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, that you do not serve my gods or worship the gold image which I have set up?
AFTER ALL I HAVE DONE FOR YOU? I SAVED YOUR BUTTS, I SET YOU UP, I LET YOU EAT YOUR OWN FOOD, I HOOKED YOU UP WITH POSITIONS OF POWER, I PUT YOU IN CHARGE OF PARTS OF MY KINGDOM… I STUCK MY NECK OUT FOR YOU… AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY ME?
Have you ever been in a position where a person has truly helped you out, has done you a solid… but you still have to stand up to them in order to keep your witness. You know it will burn a bridge… but like Paul said in Galatians chapter one… am I trying to please God or man…. well if you please God you will probably not please a lot of people… but thats what a follower of Christ does.
15 Now if you are ready at the time you hear the sound of the horn, flute, harp, lyre, and psaltery, in symphony with all kinds of music, and you fall down and worship the image which I have made, good! But if you do not worship, you shall be cast immediately into the midst of a burning fiery furnace. And who is the god who will deliver you from my hands?”
16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego answered and said to the king, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter.
THESE GUYS ARE SAYING “LOOK BRO, KING YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET FROM US… CHECK OUR RECORD. WE AINT GONNA BOW. why are we even talking… why are you wasting your time and ours?
And what happens??? the kings anger gets the best of him. He flaunts his power by getting the strongest best most powerful bad mamma mamma warriors to the them up and throw them into the furnace… and it backfires on Nebby the king.
These high powered well qualified well trained and committed warriors die! whoops….
19 Then Nebuchadnezzar was full of fury, and the expression on his face changed toward Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego. He spoke and commanded that they heat the furnace seven times more than it was usually heated. 20 And he commanded certain mighty men of valor who were in his army to bind Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, and cast them into the burning fiery furnace. 21 Then these men were bound in their coats, their trousers, their turbans, and their other garments, and were cast into the midst of the burning fiery furnace. 22 Therefore, because the king’s command was [c]urgent, and the furnace exceedingly hot, the flame of the fire killed those men who took up Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego. 23 And these three men, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-Nego, fell down bound into the midst of the burning fiery furnace.
Bow to god, trust the process in the mess, no distress and you’ll be blessed.
God will not be mocked… you send your mighty warriors… you teller to dress the part with bulging biceps, swords, and tough talk… we will bring our God… see you in eternity for the final score.