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Making men MEN again. The David Alliance will help you slay your giants.
Episodes
Tuesday Apr 04, 2023
Tuesday Apr 04, 2023
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Checking out of the store last week with my grandson. A young man came up to us and I told my grandson ask him what he wants….
We've identified 5 reasons people are motivated to give:
- They see a need… (or should I say they feel the need)
- They believe in the vision.
- They have a relationship.
- They are taught how to do it.
- They want to obey God’s Word.
*Bonus - You reap what you sow!
Monday Apr 03, 2023
Friday Mar 31, 2023
Friday Mar 31, 2023
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Discouragement
Prisoner Gary Stephen escaped from castle Huntly prison near Dundee Scotland back in 2006. He hadn’t seen his 35 year old girlfriend Tracy Miller in more than 6 months… when he gets to her house he finds out she is 4 months pregnant… he was so despondent he called the police, turned himself in and wanted to go back to prison…. and the police showed up and took him back to jail.
Talk disappointment… you risk your life, you risk more prison time, you escape at great peril… you are going to prove your love to your girlfriend….
Now that would be discouraging…
how you deal with discouragement will dictate a lot of how well you live your life and the quality of your life.
“Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand” (Isaiah 41:10).
So how does God strengthen you?
So lets state the obvious
Read your bible - yes a definite no brainer, but I like to read it and where it says Jesus did this… I substitute my name- understanding that God called me to do above and beyond what he did.
Pray - again, a no brainer… but don’t wait till things are bad… pray always. So when things get bad you don’t feel guilty praying…. ok
Seek counsel from pastors and friends… This also is a great idea and you have to have some time where you have invested into friends so that you have them to gain counsel from.
But here are my go to ways to defeat discouragement..
I have talked about my awesome jar in the past an idea I got from Tim Ferris and his book Tools of Titans book. If you are not familiar with it, you basically collect stories from your life where God showed up and did amazing things.
I just write out these little stories on small note paper and fold it up and I have a big glass jar that I put them in. I have stories of checks showing up in my mailbox for thousands. Healings, God speaking through me to others, leading people to Christ. Praying over people who are healed from cancer. Watching God take my joblessness and giving me a fantastic job I never thought I would land… lots of stories.
But it basically reminds me that I have had many down times, many discouraging times and God waded through my mess and drowned me in hope and joy.
So thats my first go to… my second go to is I have a few people that I can call and talk to any time who will give me joy, hope and fire breathing prayers. Typically just one phone call with one of those guys and I am ready to walk on hot coals, jump off a skyscraper and fly, I am ready to bet the house that Jesus is going to show up and meet me right where I need it most.
Plus these are the people who tell me their stories of discouragement and how God met them.
You know misery loves company… especially the company that has been there, done that and had God show up.
Thursday Mar 30, 2023
Thursday Mar 30, 2023
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What is the most firm part of your body…Arms? Legs? Abs? I saw a women in the grocery store lately… and thought I want my faith to be as firm and as strong as those leggings… she was probably pushing 400 bills and in yoga pants… yoga pants…. do you understand what I am saying… yoga pants. Not picking on her, just pointing out the obvious….
One of my favorite quotes is simply this
If you could find the person who is responsible for all your problems, and could kick them in the butt as hard as you can… well, you wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week.
Oh, nobody's fault but mine
Nobody's fault but mine, yeah
Trying to save my soul tonight
Oh… it’s nobody’s fault but mine
- 1.Be Alert 1 Peter 5:8 1;14-16
To watch responsibly
There is a point where it is no one else’s fault but yours if you stay in bondage to fear!
Nobodys fault but yours if you stay broke,
Nobodys fault but yours if your relationships are full of problems..
nobody’s fault but yours if you are out of shape
nobody’s fault but yours if you don’t know God they way you want to
Nobodys fault but yours if your not intimate with God
Nobody’s fault but yours if you can’t play guitar
LOOK IT DON’T MATTER… WHAT THE TOPIC OR PROBLEM… ITS YOUR FAULT FOR STAYING THERE…MAYBE NOT YOUR FAULT FOR BEING HANDED THAT PROBLEM… but definitely yours for keeping it.
Be alert, be responsible WHY? Because the enemy is out there trying to devour you…
interesting enough it says he is roaring… why do lions roar? To terrify you, to cause you to freeze up… you become easy pickings.
But if you are alert, if you are responsible… you know ahead of time- he is going to roar, he is going to try to get me to freeze up…
8Be sober-minded and alert. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9Resist him, standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kinds of suffering.…
You are responsible for standing firm in your faith and in the knowledge of others going through the same thing…
But ain’t it great, you are the one on call… its not up to your parents, your friends, your spouse… it is simply on you to stay firm…
Wednesday Mar 29, 2023
Wednesday Mar 29, 2023
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I have trained people in the past who will not be able to understand why they just can’t seem to lose fat. They even tell me stories about how every Friday their family gets together for Mom’s pasta and pie night. And they don’t eat any of it. None of the homemade bread, or pasta, none of the rich creamy Alfredo sauce, not a bite of the desserts nor do they drink the sugary alcoholic beverages… and they have great pride in telling me that they are willing to make such dramatic sacrifices even though their family makes fun of them… but they still don’t lose weight… why?
There are those who read and pray and go to church and they just don’t ever seem to have a life full of Gods power… they never miss a Sunday service…they go to the extra weekday services, they attend a bible study, they even serve in the ministries in the church…
They have missed the point of what truly brings power in a Disciples life…
The same way the dieter can’t seem to lose weight. You don’t lose weight by skipping the buffet, or by not eating Mama’s homemade spaghetti night extravaganza… you lose weight by eating healthy, you might say obeying simple dietary rules, every day.
in the same way you increase in power and anointing not through sacrifice but simply through
Purity, intimacy and obedience = power.
1 Sam. 15:22
Obedience is better than sacrifice,
Obedience HB Shaw - Mah Hearing God, giving heed to his voice. Not just hearing his voice but it’s demonstrated by your actions.
Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God.
See GK = Hor-ah-O
They shall experience, discern, perceive God.
Purity + Obedience = Power
For a long time I held to a very self disciplined life… you might even call it self sacrificial - but lacking in purity. I have learned over the years - and of course still learning that simple steps of obedience and purity bring power. The pure in heart, purity is choosing to please God in the little things… thats what purity is about. When you look at ingredients and it says 99% pure… you don’t see a big rock in that cold pressed olive oil from Italy… purity is based on the little things. It would be ridiculous if the jar said “99% pure with only a few rocks in it”.
Purity comes down to little things in life, little choices in life, choosing to hear Gods voice in the minute details…
What is are the little things in your life that are causing impurity… probably not murder, hate, cheating… maybe its who you follow on social media, or to much secular music or even what you listen to…
So you got the big things, reading, praying, obeying the big 10, and you even are a Sunday go to meeting regular attender… but how are the little things coming???
Tuesday Mar 28, 2023
Tuesday Mar 28, 2023
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Do you want a Doctor or a plastic surgeon… Oh I know they are technically the same… but technically they are not. And if I am sick… hands down I want a doctor not a plastic surgeon…
But this begs the question… do you want a church or do you want to be the church. I don’t know how to say it any better without explaining it. There are lots of churches out there that are led by one single thought… how do we grow, how do we attract, how do we reach out city… That’s a church… but its not being the church.
Are you a part of a church that expects you to BE the church. Do they preach the gospel, Do they preach against sin? Do they preach holiness? Do they preach the word of God without watering it down? Do they mix psychology with scripture for a cool insight, Do they preach a cliche or a hype quote… you know like
WWJD, or He’s the fire, do they preach the manifestations more then the man… Jesus Christ?
Look, none of these are essentially wrong… but scripture is clear in the end times people will yearn for soundbites, they will have itching ears wanting to hear about the attributes of Jesus, about the influence of Jesus, but not actually about Jesus. Not about repentance of sin, and holiness.
What is the church supposed to be about…
ok, teach, preach, perform the ordinances like baptism, the sacraments, weddings, Prayer and fellowship and worship etc…
But it’s main purpose is to preach and teach you to reach the lost. AND NOT ONLY THAT BUT TO PUT A HEAVY EXPECTATION ON YOU TO DO JUST THAT!
In Luke 19:10 it says that Jesus came to seek and save the lost… you say, well Im not Jesus… but thats not the point we are to be jesus, we are to follow him and his example, we are to be ye holy as Christ was holy… that means set a part by our actions according to his word.
I KNOW A LOT OF CHURCHES THAT ARE FILLED WITH PASTORS WHO ARE SIMPLY PLASTIC SURGEONS. They want you to look better, and to feel better by how you look. But they do not want to call you out on your cancer, your sickness, your eating habits… gotta double chin, well don’t stop eating crap, just let me snip, clip and suck some fat out and you will be fine.
If you feel uncomfortable on Sundays… well it might be that your pastor is a doctor and not a plastic surgeon… and if he is, thank god for that. I have had a few cancers in my life, a broken neck, paralysis, a brain tumor… and guess what - I never went to a plastic surgeon… I didn’t care how I looked, I cared wether I lived or died.
Maybe when it comes to church shopping you should do the same!
Monday Mar 27, 2023
Monday Mar 27, 2023
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Which came first the chicken or the egg… Not sure, don’t care… but what I really want to know is, what came first fear or sin? Now thats a stop you in your tracks question… and thats where we are going today.
Gen.3 Now the serpent was more cunning than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Has God indeed said, ‘You shall not eat of every tree of the garden’?”
2 And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat the fruit of the trees of the garden; 3 but of the fruit of the tree which is in the midst of the garden, God has said, ‘You shall not eat it, nor shall you touch it, lest you die.’ ”
4 Then the serpent said to the woman, “You will not surely die. 5 For God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”
THIS CONVERSATION IS PRE- FEAR
BUT DOUBT… CREATES ROOM FOR FEAR….
6 So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise,
*STOP - is this statement true? Yes.
but it was not what God wanted - it was not what was best.
she took of its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate. 7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves coverings.
They knew good and evil… what happens if you know good and evil…
What happens when you know right from wrong and you are separated from God? Fear!
What happens if you do know God? No fear,
*Did you know you don’t have to have strength or power to fight fear… just trust.
TRUST FALL
strength and because of trust… and you don’t have to have strength first to fight fear, you just need trust.
8 And they heard the sound of the Lord God walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and Adam and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the Lord God among the trees of the garden.
9 Then the Lord God called to Adam and said to him, “Where are you?”
10 So he said, “I heard Your voice in the garden, and I was afraid because I was naked; and I hid myself.”
11 And He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?”
12 Then the man said, “The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.”
SO satan is looking for areas in our life to disrupt our faith and cause spiritual trauma
and it starts with doubt…
but we also don’t need strength to overcome as much as we need trust or I should say faith.
Faith comes by hearing the word of God… from the bible and from hearing his voice speak to you.
Now that is something worth working on… listening and obeying.
Friday Mar 24, 2023
Friday Mar 24, 2023
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what can a 10 second hug do?
1 dopamine
2 creates a safe environment for vulnerability
3 relieve stress and boost immune system
4 and 5 Reignites physical affection and physical attraction
6 opens up avenues of communication
Aaaaand #7 a ten second hug is territorial. It simply says you are mine!
Let me be quite frank… I don’t want you coming up during church and hugging my wife from the front… nor does my wife want women coming up and hugging me from the front… either way - NO BOOBY hugs!
I teach on Proxemics OR the science of space no not astronomy… but on space and territory in human behavior. One of the illustrations I do is showing people how when I hug someone my hand on the back - or the placement of that hand says a lot about how well I think I know that person.
If I hug them and my hand is just on the top of the shoulder…(12 o’clock) I barely know them
If My hand is on their mid back, I know them pretty well,
If my hand is on their lower back I really know them
and if my hand is on their buttocks I better be married to them… because that is intimacy!
Have you ever been dancing with your partner or spouse and you grab their butt? Ever hugged them really close in public?
Ever been away from them for a week or longer and when you see them you grab them and hang on for a good 20 seconds…
What is all this saying? YOU ARE MINE!
Now wether you do it in public or not- it still screams THIS IS MY TERRITORY… HANDS OFF!
Song of Solomon 8:6
Set me as a seal upon your heart, As a seal upon your arm; For love is as strong as death, Jealousy as cruel as the grave; Its flames are flames of fire, A most vehement flame.
This is a love song from a bride to her groom… interesting that it is from a woman’s perspective…yet is very applicable to a man.
Why was such jealousy aroused in this scripture? Well in the verse before it says we are leaning on each other… physical touch. It aroused jealousy or in other words territorial obsession. When you hug you are sealing the deal… verse 6 says you are a seal on my heart. Look we all want stuff to be fresh… I like fresh veggies, fresh fruit, fresh paint, fresh bread… a good seal does that. Does your relationship feel stale??? Maybe you need to work on your seal.
Look here is what I am trying to get at… there are millions of people who simply feel unwanted in marriage, in relationships - because they no longer have that territorial touch or connection.
being Territorial has a lot to do with identity as a couple. I want people to know we are a THANG…
I WANT MY WIFE TO KNOW AND FEEL WE ARE A THANG! A hug does that if it is more than 10 seconds.
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
Thursday Mar 23, 2023
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what can a 10 second hug do?
1 dopamine
2 creates a safe environment for vulnerability
3 relieve stress and boost immune system
4 and 5 Reignites physical affection and physical attraction
6 opens up avenues of communication
In fact you are probably like most people thinking we used to talk all the time. I bet you used to hug all the time as well… for more than a quick goodbye squeeze.
Haptic communication is a branch of nonverbal communication that refers to the ways in which people and animals communicate and interact via the sense of touch. Touch is the most sophisticated and intimate of the five senses.
If I was mad at you… how would I touch you to let you know?
If I cared for you… how would I touch you?
If I wanted to introduce myself to you…
If I wanted to make you laugh
If I wanted to ask a question….
If I needed something from you….
If I wanted you to touch me…
If I was upset how would I touch you…
Words are powerful… absolutely. But touch is not only powerful but tangible - you feel what I am saying and not just hear what I am saying.
Why do you think Jesus washed the disciples feet? yes it was a sign of servitude and selflessness. But it was also tactile. It was touch.
Luke 7:36-50 When the prostitute came to Jesus during the meal with the Pharisee what did she do? Did she talk to Jesus? NO
She cried tears on his feet… this was a form of touch… it can be very powerful if you have ever had someone in pain and their tears fall on you…
She wiped his feet off with her hair - that was physical touch
She poured perfume on his feet and again wiped his feet off… again physical touch…
Her words were none, and yet her touch screamed at the top of her lungs… I need you, I am sorry, I am repentant, forgive me.
But the Pharisee did not understand nor care to see the truth.
Jesus said “this woman was in great need of forgiveness and it was from touch that it came”
Everything that she needed without a word spoken because of touch. Just think what a 10 second hug can do for you and your spouse… now just think what it could do if you hug every day.
Wednesday Mar 22, 2023
Wednesday Mar 22, 2023
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I once had a man in my office during counseling admit to me that he got his hair cut and trimmed and washed about 2 times a month. The reason was he was married and his wife never touched him anymore… and he said he literally needed to be touched to feel normal and this was a safe way for him to feel touched and cared for.
what can a 10 second hug do?
1 dopamine
2 creates a safe environment for vulnerability
3 relieve stress and boost immune system
4 Today… reignites physical affection
a 10 second hug is a powerful reminder without using words to say I really love you. I say I love you to my kids and my wife all the time… I say it to my grandkids 2 and 3 times a day (they live with me, so that makes it easy) but the reality is simply this: familiarity makes those words have less of an impact. Now I know what you are thinking if you never came from a family like ours… I would never get sick of hearing that… but truth is you can have those words roll of your back like water off a duck.
And if you are trying to reignite some romance and affection into your life you and I both know that simply saying I love you does not always do it.
Have you ever played this role…
I love you, I love you too
No, I really love you… yeah I really love you too
No I mean I really really love you, more than anything…
Yeah I get it, I love you too….
AAANNNDDDD you walk away with unmet expectations.
but touch… a hug, especially a hug with some time behind it starts to touch the soul of the person you fell in love with years ago. They feel it, and you feel it.
Did you know women almost always make the first touch if they are interested in a man… and yet they are many times the first to quit hugging in a relationship.
But lets look at it from this perspective… a hug for more than 10 seconds is truly meant to be non-sexual. It is simply to connect… but when connection is made and you build on that hug with another hug and another hug and your days are filled with a 10 second hug… it turns that non-sexual hug many times into a roaring infatuation with your spouse again. You once again are attracted to your spouse… and you begin to be attracted to who they are as a person, as a soul and as a part of your life… and not just their body.
Why did you stop touching in the first place? Well it typically is apathy and or hurt. When we give up doing what is important apathy storms the relationship and causes us to compare our dreams with reality - but only form our side of the coin. And when trust is broken, we don’t want to touch… but we need to all the more in order to help heal that breach.
Think of Jesus who came to an earth that he knew would hate him, beat him, reject him and crucify him…
Regardless of where you are in your walk with your spouse or your partner… don’t wait to hug them… you are one spark away from a full blown 5 alarm fire.