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Making men MEN again. The David Alliance will help you slay your giants.
Episodes
Thursday Jul 20, 2023
Thursday Jul 20, 2023
Wake the faith up
2 men sitting in the park when a beautiful woman jogs by… the one man remarks… man she is a fox. To which the woman stops in her tracks, turns to the 2 men and says “I can’t believe in todays world you would be so ignorant to refer to a woman as an animal, you both are complete male chauvinist pigs”… uh, yea… hypocrisy… with men and women
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - Check
Honor - Check
Serve - Check
Submit - Next Up
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
And today might in fact be the hardest one of all for women to swallow… this pill is big, bad tasting, and might make you choke…. Or - it just might save your marriage!
But as hard as it is for many women to talk about submission, I have found the ones who bristle the most are the ones who expect exactly the opposite in their marriages… they want the man to do what they want…uhmmm… thats submission.
So we both need to park our attitudes and preconceived mindsets at the front desk as we take a look at this.
In each of the three sections of Paul’s household code (Eph. 5:22–33; 6:1–4; 6:5–9), he first addresses those who are under authority (wives, children, and slaves) before addressing those in positions of authority (husbands, parents, and masters). Wives are commanded to submit to their husbands. The words “your own” (idios) indicate that Paul is addressing “wives” and not “women” generally.
They also indicate that a wife is not expected to submit to everyone’s husband, but specifically her own husband. The use of the middle voice of the verb (carried over from Eph. 5:21) emphasizes the voluntary nature of the submission. In other words, Paul says that a wife is to submit willingly to her husband but nowhere does he say that husbands are to demand submission from their wives, because they should not need to do so. Next, Paul offers a comparison (“as to the Lord”), which provides motivation for women’s submission to their husbands. When a woman voluntarily submits to her husband, she is simultaneously submitting to the Lord.
The prepositional phrase “in everything” should not be taken absolutely, since a wife should not submit to her husband in matters that are sinful, harmful, or contrary to God’s commands. this is just speaking in context of man/husband who loves his wife and submits to God.
And these words are not conditioned on the husband’s love for his wife. Although there may be exceptions, the focus of the passage is on the importance of the wife’s willing submission to the leadership of her husband (even if her husband is an unbeliever).
Self-Sacrificial Love
After commanding wives to submit to their husbands, Paul turns his attention to the husbands by commanding them to love their wives. Based on other ancient texts, it is somewhat unexpected that Paul urges husbands to love their wives instead of urging them to rule over or domineer their wives. In extrabiblical Jewish literature, husbands were rarely exhorted to love their wives, and the verb “love” (agapaō) was never used in Greco-Roman household codes in relation to the duties of husbands. Here the command is to follow Christ in the way of love. The fact that this exhortation is repeated signifies its importance (Eph. 5:28, 33; cf. Col. 3:19)
So lets dumb it down. I have only met a few women… I believe 2 if my memory serves me right, who say they would not submit to their husbands if they were Godly men. that is the spirit of Jezebel - and YEP we are going to cover that in this series. But what these woman are basically saying is… I aint submitting to My hubby, any man or God.
But regardless, women here is the key, tell your husbands you would love to submit to them as they grow in their ability to hear God and lead your family. And as his example to love her as Christ loved the church. And ladies remember Jesus did not always do the fun sweet things for the church, and the church will actually go through some tough times, currently and in the end times…
Let me make this as clear as possible. Women if you are looking for a reason to not submit to your husbands, you will always find one. But if you are looking for ways to grow in Christ and submit to God - your husband is the best way to do just that. All the while encouraging him to be more like Jesus.
Wednesday Jul 19, 2023
Wednesday Jul 19, 2023
Wake the faith up
Is this series outdated, narrow-minded, old fashioned, does it fly in the face of modern women… sure, yes it does. but does that make it wrong? Does that mean you have a right to not follow it? NOPE.
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - Check
Honor - Check
Serve - Next Up
Submit
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
Genesis 2:18 it is not good for man to be alone, I will make a help mate for him.
A helper, a server - not a servant.
If you tuned in to this podcast thinking I was going to talk about how your wife should be your servant.. ah ah - NO. but should she serve you? Should she serve along side you? Yes.
You ask me.. Garth, what is the difference?
Well first let me just say there are multiple verses about wives loving their husbands, helping their husbands, submitting to their husbands, respecting their husbands, caring for their husbands… all of this implies to some great degree of serving your husband… as scripture tells us to serve one another, husbands are also to serve their wives…
BUT WHAT I AM REALLY GETTING AT IS THIS.
You best serve your husband by serving God, what does God say about marriage and are you following his guidelines… I won’t repeat all my other points at this time, but its a good place to start when trying to serve God.
But there is a deeper meaning… Wives best serve their husbands by helping him serve God. Now you may be the wife who comes along side and helps him as he serves in the youth ministry, or you may help him as he serves in a para-church ministry like young life or a pro-life ministry. Or you may help him serve at church in teaching… point being you may actually be doing much of the ministry he is doing and or parts of it- all the while by his side.
OR… you may serve him as he serves God in a specific ministry. Let me put it to you this way…
I have always said “my role, my ministry is being a pastor, preacher, teacher… My wife has always said her ministry is ME. Yea you heard that right, her ministry is taking care of me so that I can be a better minister. Yes, she reads and prays, and shares Christ with others, she is involved in church… but maybe not as much as other women because other women do not have husbands that are in full time ministry (and might I add I have 4 other businesses that I am running, and 2 other ministries that I either run or am heavily involved in) And to be quite frank, I could not do it as easily or in as optimal health and strength if she was not serving me.
Do I love her asking me if I need anything? Do I love when she brings out a cold ice tea when I am reading on the deck? Do I love it if she asks if I would like to come to bed with her? 1000% yes, but I mostly love her serving me, so that I can serve God better… she truly makes me better by serving me. Men, maybe your wives are not serving you as much as you would like because you are not involved in serving God. And wives, regardless if your husbands are or are not - God still calls you to serve your husband as unto the Lord.
Tuesday Jul 18, 2023
Tuesday Jul 18, 2023
Wake the faith up
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - Check
Honor - Next up
Serve
Submit
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
Honor GK tee-may accord honor, pay respect") – properly, perceived value; worth (literally, "price") especially as perceived honor – i.e. what has value in the eyes of the beholder; (figuratively) the value (weight, honor) willingly assigned to something.
Lets dumb this down for those who went to public school like me: You honor your husband and his value… and why is he valuable? Because he saw the value in you, and chose you above others.
It’s like this - someone gives you a brand new Zora Corvette - it is a limited production corvette, very rare… do you honor the car and take care of it? Yes… but you also honor the person who gave it to you because they chose you.
Ladies, you are given a Saint Laurent handbag valued at 4k… do you honor and take care of that YES - do you also honor the person who gave it to you? Yes.
You don’t honor your husband because you are subservient, and he demands it, and scripture commands it… no. Think about it - he could date a hundred different woman, for a hundred different reasons… but he honored you by choosing you and now you can honor his decision by honoring him.
The danger when we speak of this post marriage is women disguise their lack of honor by saying… well if I had known then what I know now- I would have married someone who loved me better, took care of me better, made my life easier - AND THEN I WOULD HONOR THEM. Again, thats not honor, that is blackmail.
I am not saying if your husband is violent, abusive (and lets be honest, that term is overused in todays world… but anyway) if you are physically in danger, get out, move out, divorce him. But usually in todays world we think that if marriage isn’t easy, we married the wrong person. Everyone marries the wrong person… everyone is a mismatch.
Lets chase a rabbit for a second… our enemy satan blows things out of proportion when it comes to marriage issues because he knows it causes greater destruction…
Ok, again let me explain. When we hear a sermon on “love your neighbor as you love yourself” We realize we need Gods help, his strength, his wisdom, his grace in order to love our neighbors (and neighbor means anyone we are currently around in life) if this was a sermon we would all say amen, yes I need to work on that.
But when it comes to our spouse… our husband, we cringe, we lash out, we make excuses, we falter, we blow it off - because again, if satan can get us to neglect the responsibilities God has given us for marriage he knows it will destroy the family and ultimately America. God is so in love with the idea of marriage - he created it and he uses it as his example of the church and the Father.
Now I will say it again… what I am called to do during hard times, suffering, discouragement… especially in marriage - what I am called to do is gut busting hard - but I won’t waste this opportunity to call on Gods grace and allow his spirit to flow in me, through me and make me more like Jesus.
Ladies, is it hard to Love, Respect and Honor your husbands? Don’t waste this opportunity to be more like Jesus.
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Monday Jul 17, 2023
Wake the faith up
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect - CHECK
Love - NEXT UP
Honor
Serve
Submit
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
I will again admit in todays world many women wince and actually manifest visible agitation when one mentions loving their husband… as if it is their only job when it comes to their role as a wife.
Love your husband.
But again I believe God knows what he is doing when he writes in his word…
Titus 2:4 wives “to love their husbands.”
What are types of love a Godly woman should give her husband?
First lets admit.. men are imperfect, flawed and broken - and with that being said maybe the most important aspect of loving your husband is
unconditional acceptance.accept your husband just as he is—an imperfect person.
It’s pretty simple, you can stop loving your husband when he becomes perfect… and he can stop loving you when you become perfect. Point being - love is only truly love when you love those who at the moment have not earned it - for if one must earn love, they are not truly being loved, only rewarded according to our standard.
I sure don’t want God to hold that type of love over me… Because I could never meet his standard.
Second great way to love your husband is to tell him how much you love his Godly traits… yes, he may not have many, but the more you point those out and love him for them you will notice more, and you help nurture even more Christ like behavior. Remember God calls us to repentance by his kindness… it is your kindness to your husband that leads to greater alignment to who God is… that is a part of repentance.
Love also means committing to a mutually fulfilling sexual relationship. I knew it was going to come down to sex again… just like a male podcaster to push sex. Actually last time I brought this up I had a few women give me some push back…and I get it, however scripture tells wives not to deny their husbands sex…
Yes… there is a whole lot more to love than sex, but lets look at how to fulfill God’s command to love your husband. So you gotta look at love from their perspective, not just your own.
again and again Surveys show that sex is one of a man’s most important needs—if not the most important from his wife. - and it todays culture there are many options for temptation to crawl in and many doors satan will open for the man who’s wife is not willing to love her husband in bed. Scripture is clear 1 Cor. 7:5 So don't refuse sex to each other, unless you agree not to have sex for a little while, in order to spend time in prayer. Then Satan won't be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
When a wife resists intimacy, or is uninterested, or is only passively interested, or its the old “just go ahead” with the enthusiasm of a dead fish - her husband will feel like he is an inconvenience to her… Like “was I a mistake you made in marrying me? her husband may feel rejection. It will eat away at his self-image, and create distance and isolation in the relationship. And the sad thing is that women don’t see the cycle they have just created in their marriage… They reason “well he is so disconnected why would he think I would want to have sex with him”
Break that pattern now for the sake of your marriage.
Let me read a quote from Barbara Rainey who is a leading expert in Christian marriage.
My husband’s sexual needs should be more important and higher on my priority list than housework, projects, activities, and even the children. It does not mean that I should think about sex all day and every day, but it does mean that I find ways to remember my husband and his needs. It means I save some of my energy for him. This keeps me from being selfish and living only for my own needs and wants. Maintaining that focus helps me defeat isolation in our marriage.
The truth is that if a mans number one temptation in life is sexual in nature… it must also be his number one need… and only one person in the whole world is given that responsibility to fulfill it.
Thursday Jul 13, 2023
Thursday Jul 13, 2023
Wake the faith up
INTRO: you could easily take the next 5-8 podcasts and throw me under the bus… so listen to my heart, listen to all of the podcasts and wait for the last final podcast on this topic before you judge.
5 Things a Godly woman does for her husband.
Respect
Love
Honor
Serve
Submit
*and what’s their problem if they can’t do these 5 things.
*A mans responsibility to make it easier
The woman who hated her husband and wanted to divorce him. She went to a lawyer… how much do you hate him, do you want him to suffer…
Conclusion
Why would I ever divorce such a loving amazing man
Nancy Anderson wrote an amazing article for Crosswalk regarding loving your husband through respect. She states she and her husband were on the brink of divorce…and he was argumentative, defensive and angry… but she realized he was only that way because of her lacking respect and being controlling. She was convicted and came up with 3 things that I don’t think I can improve on.
VIP
Verbal respect: pull back on arguing, complaining and pointing out what is lacking and add more compliments, verbal affection
Verbal respect is like the seasoning in your marriage
I intellect
Respect your husbands intellect. How many women treat their husbands like they are just stupid. They speak and act with disdain towards him.
Men want to fix things… let them. Thank them for their opinion and then let them know how you feel afterwards and that you will think and pray over their thoughts.
Instead of telling them their wrong, ask them KINDLY to explain their opinion or ideas behind what they say. *truth be told there is very very very little that is actually right or wrong… its always a matter of opinion. Women do not disrespect your husband intellectually just because his opinion is different… its not wrong, just different.
P is for Physical
Respect your husband physically.
How you look… yes your physical appearance,
How you take care of his physical needs (laundry, cooking, how the kids are taken care of)
Physical as in sexual needs.
Ladies, if you are listening… there are a lot of men out there who are trying,,,, sincerely trying… they are not perfect - they are burning out… they won’t leave you - but they are checking out mentally, emotionally, physically… not out of hate or bitterness, but out of self preservation. Their fuel is respect, it feeds them… and you are not giving it to them and they are pulling back just in order to survive.
Wednesday Jul 12, 2023
Wednesday Jul 12, 2023
Wake the faith up
James 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Submit - subject yourself. Put yourself under what God says… he is the final authority.
But the nuance here is to arrange your thoughts under Gods authority - what is his authority? His word.
If you have thoughts about your health, finances, relationships, the future, a job, whatever it is… you arrange them under what God says in his word.
- have you ever had someone tell you to do something and you contradict them because someone else of a higher authority said not to or to do it a different way?
Your dad says you can have a popsicle… but Mom says NO… we all know Mom has the authority in that manner. As a kid I was worried about missing out on a deal for a killer stereo… my parents said NO… now I know I could have got them to say yes, but I trusted their words… I arranged my wants, thoughts, fears under their authority and their words… a few months later that saved me $700.
God says.. no matter what you are wrestling with - NAME IT - it does not matter - put it under Gods word. Submit to God…
oh if you want to hear satan moan and just get pissed… do that. He is hoping you don’t submit to God and his word.
Here is a secret… now submit all your good thoughts, dreams, hopes, etc… under his word as well - and they get supercharged by a 1000.
James 4:7
Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Resist GK - vehemently oppose. 180 degree anti, rebellious push back…
Are you ready to get pissed off at the thoughts of satan? Now you might get offended at that word… that’s ok, because it is giving you the understanding and the nuance of what I am talking about.
Why do we worry about becoming to offensive in our walk and mindset as men and women of God.
What happens when we do this…. that is submit to Gods thoughts and resist satan.
satan will flee -
FLEE GK - wear out and run away… shuffle away in despair. To literally fly away in a worn out state… Like you woop up on a big bad bird and it finally gives up and flys rambunctiously away in its best worn out state…
Today,
Submit every thought in every area to what God says
Resist - get pissed off that satan would even dare to tell you anything different than what Gods word says
and finally watch him flee…
Now that’s the steps to victory every time.
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
Tuesday Jul 11, 2023
Wake the faith up
Business Professor and economist Aaron Levenstein once said, “statistics are like bikinis. What they reveal is suggestive, but what they conceal is vital.”
You know what is most important in life? Believe it or not… you can’t see it.
What does it feel like to be deceived?
It feels good, it feels right…it feels normal because you don’t know any better. But what does it feel like to find out you have been deceived…well now thats a whole new ball of wax.
2 Cor. 4
18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
what if I told you that we can get deceived but we get deceived by what we see….
what do I mean? Well satan takes our eyes and fills them with pictures of the world… good or bad and distorts them. We see others with stuff, trophies, parties, money, accolades… and we get deceived thinking that this is what is life is about… but if we focus on what is unseen - that is the kingdom of Heaven, the kingdom of light… then we will never be deceived.
So as verse 18 says… want to be deceived? focus on things that don’t last.
What doesn’t last?
Youth, sex, parties, money, fame, popularity, business, mindsets, politics, my rights…
But what is unseen? Heaven, God the father… oh in time we will see him, but here on earth we can only feel, taste and be filled with the unseen…
What’s the point?
Well if you really want a great life, if you really want a strong spiritual life- realize that what is most important, what is most true, what is most dependable and what is most necessary and fulfilling is what is invisible - what is unseen
Faith is unseen Heb.11:1
Again what is eternal is what is invisible - focus on the invisible and do not be deceived… what you can see is not what is important.
Monday Jul 10, 2023
Monday Jul 10, 2023
Wake the faith up
12 and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of his holy people in the kingdom of light.
Qualified = partakers of, enabled you
Ever enter into a conversation and someone says… my uncle died and left me an inheritance… and you jump to “what did he leave you”…. uhm… his uncle died. How about starting out with saying “man I am so sorry your uncle died… was he a good man? Were you close to him?”
Jesus died… the son of God, holy righteous and perfect… and he died so we can have an inheritance.
I don’t know if you have ever been left an inheritance… but when My grandpa Heckman died He left me something… he knew me well as a 7 year old… he left me a bullwhip.
To get an inheritance someones gotta die - who died?
Jesus, what do we inherit?
Eternity? yes
Forgiveness? yes
Power? yes
Wisdom? yes… and so much more…. but did we inherit all this JUST for heaven?
NO - WE INHERITED IT FOR THE HERE AND NOW
My uncle died and left me a bunch of money, but Im not going to spend it until I get to heaven - ? ! ? !
YOU CAN’T TAKE IT WITH YOU… WHAT GOD HAS GIVEN TO US IN HIS INHERITANCE… IS FOR NOW!
*There are too many Xns waiting to die before cashing in on what God has left you!
This inheritance is not talking about simply the one we have in heaven… but we are “qualified” to share in his glorious blessing and character here and now.
His power now
His wisdom now
His healing now
His hope now
NEWS FLASH… I DON’T NEED THOSE IN HEAVEN!
Ive inherited his light, his supernatural kingdom for the here and now…
VERSE 12… we live in the kingdom of light
13 For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves,
Rescued us: GK picture of a father pulling his child to safety into his arms.
Dominion: Spiritual power
Darkness: The spiritual ignorance of brought on by being in sin
But again he did not rescue us just to save us, but instead to rescue others and bring the kingdom of light to a darkened world.
Friday Jul 07, 2023
Friday Jul 07, 2023
Wake the faith up
Turning Boys of religion into Men of God/Hardcore Jesus examples… Ive got grandkids… Im reliving the “how to’s” in raising Godly men and women.
The feminization of men… or maybe the weakening of masculinity… why?
I know over the last 100 years testosterone in men has plummeted, I know divorce has almost totally eradicated Fatherly examples, I know woman rights has beaten up on Men and I know women have been harrassed and subjugated into thinking that they must now be as dominant as men and take the best known foibles of men and parade them around in their actions touting they are equals….
So today here is a “mens check up” list for you to ask yourself. And ladies if you are listening please pass this along to your husbands, brothers, boyfriends and Dads…
a Can you be honest with where you are at in your walk with Christ and in life in general.
Now what are you doing to change that?
Finding a Godly mentor is the #1 step in changing your life.
b Do you understand the seasons of a spiritual journey?
26 years ago I was so red hot for Jesus… I would walk into stores and God would give me a word for someone I never met and it would rock their world.
5 years later I was fighting to keep myself from walking away from ministry… and my marriage was brutal.
2 years later I was fully engaged in my Christian walk and ministry and being used in the secular world to reach people for Christ
Then I faced harder times, then good times, then tough times, then supernatural times, then blah times, then more struggles, then good, then bad, then blah, then really good.
WHAT AM I TRYING TO SAY?
Life has seasons… do you know that? Are you ready to handle them? Do you know why each season exists?
c Make your walk about others and not you
The sooner you practice this and figure it out the faster your life has color to it. I love what Zig Ziglar said… if you help enough people get what they want, you will always end up getting what you want.
Serving IS the secret weapon to a meaningful life.
d Make sure your spiritual walk soaks into every area of your life. - you are not looking at porn, fondling your girlfriend, sleeping with your girlfriend, not tithing, not sharing the gospel, making excuses for your pet sins, you still drink to much, smoke to much, you still put the wrong thoughts in your head… Would I want my pastor to get up and preach this weeks sermon out of my brain and my life?
e Take responsibility of your intimacy with Christ. Would reading more and praying more help? Would fasting help? Would confessing your sins and staying accountable help? Would going to a bible study help? Would going to a regular prayer meeting help?
THAN WHY ARE YOU NOT DOING IT?
f Grow in your gifts, and push for more gifts, take risks in gifts you don’t have yet.
PRAY FOR HEALING, TEACH THE 4 YEAR OLDS, GIVE A PROPHETIC WORD, Lead worship, Tell your boss about Jesus, Tell your neighbor about Jesus. Sacrifice for others… give that money away, share that talent for Jesus….
g Learn that spiritual discipline is better than spiritual passion
You have heard me say in regards to the common line by parents “I just want my kids to be happy”.
NOT ME - I want me kids to be resilient. I want them to understand that resilience and discipline is what brings freedom, passion, success in every area of life.
Spiritual discipline trumps Spiritual passion ever time.
Show me someone in the bible who helped change history and i will show you someone who didn’t go by their feelings.
Thursday Jul 06, 2023
Thursday Jul 06, 2023
Wake the faith up
The Kimberly diamond mine was for decades the largest diamond mine in the world… it was named the big hole… so big you could see it from space… and it was dug out by human hands…. but the back story is quite crazy….
Kimberly diamond mine in Africa is the largest diamond field in the world. The man who at first owned the land had it as a farm. he sold his farm to go out and try to find diamonds... if he could find only one diamond he knew his family would be set due to how impoverished they were. For ten years he went out and looked everywhere... even in other countries and finally was so distraught after 10 years killed himself.
The man who he sold the farm to was out one day and saw an unusual rock in the stream on his property. He took it in to the hut and put it on a shelf. Later that week a missionary came by and started to talk to him and noticed the rock... it was a nice size. He asked the man where did you get this rock? The man said out back in my little stream. They went out back and looked in the stream and the missionary said "before I was a missionary I was a jeweler, and this rock contains the rarest of the rare diamonds. Worth millions... and your whole back yard is littered with them.
The other man wasted his life looking for what he had right there at his home. How many in todays world are looking for a bigger house, better spouse and bustier blouse... and you will look back and realize I had happiness at home if I was only willing to look hard enough and do the work.
2 Corinthians 9:8-15 NLT
And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others. As the Scriptures say, “They share freely and give generously to the poor. Their good deeds will be remembered forever.” For God is the one who provides seed for the farmer and then bread to eat. In the same way, he will provide and increase your resources and then produce a great harvest of generosity in you. Yes, you will be enriched in every way so that you can always be generous.