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Making men MEN again. The David Alliance will help you slay your giants.
Episodes
Thursday Jun 27, 2019
Thursday Jun 27, 2019
Debt
I dare you to google or use your favorite Bible app and search the word “debt”. It shows up so many
times your thumb will get tired from scrolling. You’ll find articles, philosophies and strategies from well-
known secular and Christian Financial Guru’s alike. People have written entire books on the subject and
I’ve only got 10 minutes to provide you some take-aways that you can relate to and apply regardless of
the season and situation of life you’re in.
My name is Tony Bolstorff and I’m a Senior Wealth Advisor with Mariner Wealth Advisors. I’m a
certified financial planner with close to 15 years of experience as a financial advisor that works with
individuals and families creating holistic financial plans…not just investment plans. More importantly I
imperfectly try to be a Christ follower. Married for close to 18 years with 4 kids ranging from 6 – 13 my
hope is I can provide some gems of info.
Full disclosure I’m not a theologian but I do try to understand the context of scripture I will reference.
Money is mentioned more than 800 times in the Bible so God obviously thinks it’s important to leave
some important guidance around this topic.
But what does the Bible say specifically about debt? It doesn’t say avoid debt completely, but it does
warn about the dangers of debt. The Creator knows the created best and provided us an instruction
book how to think and behave. From the book of wisdom, Proverbs 22:7, “The rich rules over the poor,
And the borrower becomes the lender’s slave.” You and Jesus know yourself and situation best. Ask
yourself do you have the discipline to say no to wants before they start to pile up and you become a
slave to VISA, Mastercard, or Discover? Go google Visa stock right now and you’ll see they are preying
off our inabilities to pay back money on time. Since Visa became public stock in early 2008 it has grown
more than 910% compare to the S&P 500’s growth of 100% since the same time. That’s about a 91%
growth per year over the last 10 years. Mastercard has done even better at 1120% growth since same
period. 112% per year growth over the last 10 years!!
Avoiding becoming a slave to a lender would mean no mortgage, no emergency medical payments, no
small business owner loan to keep a business afloat or started and no use of 0% financing offers which
seems unrealistic. So when making financial decisions I’m always talking with my clients about the
behavioral vs. financial side of things. Not that one is better than the other. We just want to
acknowledge and discuss both side before making an informed decision.
Simple old sayings keep you safe if you want to completely avoid debt by “don’t spend more than you
make”. But it’s hard to avoid those 0% offers and brand-new toys or vacations when all you have to do
is swipe the card and put it off until later. See, it all starts with our decisions of buy or not buy. So many
influences consciously and subconsciously feed into that important moment. Our upbringing,
personalities, peer/spousal/children pressure and last but not least advertising/marketing.
So as men, leaders and Christ followers what are we supposed to do? If you’re lacking in the discipline
department own up and find an accountability partner. A spouse, a pastor, a respected leader at your
church, a trusted friend or simply go attend Dave Ramsey’s financial peace University…you’ll find people
in the same boat. After years of kicking the can down the road my wife and I recently finished his class
and are doing life with other couples we met and that helps long term. Why would a 15-year financial
planning vet need to attend another financial planners’ program you ask? Because it’s not just about
me. For the married guys out there going from me to we takes time and effort, and this was an overdue
piece of the puzzle. We are working better together on debt and money management. Dave Ramsey’s
message is in alignment with mine about getting your house in order and being a good steward of the
gifts God has given you.
If you have found yourself in a mountain of debt and looking for practical ways to get out:
1. Stop adding new debt
a. Pay with cash vs credit card
b. Don’t trade in your car for a lower monthly payment in exchange for longer term
c. Don’t fall for the retail credit card incentives
d. Work on being content!
2. Take an inventory of debt including total amount owed, interest rates and monthly payments
3. Implement one of a couple well known strategies:
a. Snowball method says pay off your smallest balance first, and when that is done, take
those payments and put it toward the next smallest balance. This method gives you the
emotional boost to keep going as you see those debts paid off
b. The more financial method is called the avalanche method which says focus on the
higher interest debt first, but this could take awhile to pay off, so do the snowball
method if you think you’ll get discouraged
4. Take the next bonus or increase in pay and apply towards debt vs. family vacation. Sounds
boring but God asks us men to be good stewards of money and our family. Which choice is best
for your money and family?
5. Create an expense list and put them into needs vs. wants categories and start applying some of
the wants towards debt.
I’ll leave you with God’s word I think strikes at the heart of the decisions we face everyday of buy or not
buy. Contentment!
Ecclesiastes 5:10 Whoever loves money will never have enough money. Whoever loves luxury will not
be content with abundance. This also is pointless
Any questions or want to continue discussions feel free to contact me 651-212-0832 or my email
address: Anthony.bolstorff@marinerwealthadvisors.com
Wednesday Jun 26, 2019
Wednesday Jun 26, 2019
6-26-19 Wednesday
Todays topic reminds me of when my Dad had the sex talk with me as a kid… he made it short and to the point because we were both uncomfortable.
I have had some amazing experiences in life… but without exaggeration my best memories are when I have give stuff away.
Young girl in college needed money for a car repair.
Woman at the gas station I gave a $100 bill to.
Young mom counting pennies to put gas in her car.
A mom and her daughter counting change at Taco Bell to order a few things!
I have secretly given money away… but truthfully I give because I am selfish…. I get way more out of it then they do!
3 thoughts about giving:
It's best to start the discipline of generosity when the amounts are small. It’s easy to give ten cents out of a dollar; it's a little harder to give a hundred thousand out of a million.
Giving is better than receiving because giving starts the receiving process. The sower must sow in order to reap… The most very basic and obvious principle in acquiring wealth.
Nothing teaches character better than generosity…
How many men have I known that are BA to the bone and can’t handle a simple tithe, or giving to the poor or needy out of their own want and need.
We've identified 6 reasons people are motivated to give:
They see a need.
They believe in the vision.
They have a relationship.
They are taught how to do it.
They want to obey God’s Word.
They understand it is reciprocal
WHICH ONE ARE YOU? WHY NOT BE ALL 6!
One of satan’s greatest fears is that you will truly understand and practice giving.
WHY?
Because he cannot stop the process of sowing. It is a promise from God- satan can no more stop that promise and that reaping any more then he could take over heaven (and he already failed at that) But if you do believe his lies (i.e. you will when you can afford it, you will give when you have excess, you will give some but not all, You don’t have to tithe or give to be a fully devoted follower of Christ, The pastor is just out for your money… etc.) If you believe it… he wins and you lose!
I refuse to have a poverty mindset. I give a lot because I serve a God who owns it all!
The dead take to the grave, clutched in their hands, only what they have given away.
DeWitt Wallace
Tuesday Jun 25, 2019
Tuesday Jun 25, 2019
6-25-19 Tuesday
Burn, Grind repeat!
Push through the burn.
Ever work out and feel the lactic acid build up and the burn sets in… in bodybuilding this separates the men from the boys. Pushing through the burn.
In powerlifting it is pushing through the grind. When the squat stalls or the deadlift sticks… you keep pushing until it moves
In life there are a lot of burns and grinds… how do we as men get through them. What does the bible say about it?
Here are 4 things we see!
Expect the pain - and plan for it… not only the pain you expect but the pain you don’t expect.
So you are trying to save up for a great anniversary… and the car breaks down. You are ready for the pain of scrimping and saving and ready for the unexpected breakdown car trauma… but then tell yourself things like “even if both cars break down, my bicycle breaks down, if I have to take a bus I will save the money”.
Sometimes we just don’t have the motivation because we just don’t have enough pain.
Expect it, revel in it, ask for more and move forward!
Shad Shack and Benny… look God can save us, but even if he doesn’t - we aint going to bow. They expected the pain, and expected to still not bow and face even greater pain.
Daniel 3:18
Focus - - Lion tamer advice. Be where you are supposed to be at all times. The devil prowls around like a lion- don’t forget it!
1 Peter 5:8 Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. 9 But resist him, firm in your faith,
Destroy excuses - by that I mean, get excited about pushing past your excuses - by experiencing the worst that could happen and realizing it really was not that bad.
We have excuses that emanate from what we don’t want to experience… but if you experience it and go through the pain… you then destroy the excuse by going through the pain.
Get excited about not letting anything stop you.
And by your example - you Get excited about helping others push through their excuses by motivating them with your story.
Proverbs 22:13 The sluggard says, "There's a lion outside! I'll be killed in the public square!"
Solomon is stating this as a way to show us how foolish our excuses are and how unfounded they are!
Plan your story -
In the UFC there is a motto of those who are winners – they impose their will on the fight. No matter how hard they get hit or how hard they fall, no matter how tight the grip or hold is… THEY IMPOSE THEIR WILL ON THE FIGHT!
Might I state it this way: They impose their story on the fight!
Psalms. 40:5 O Lord my God, you have performed many wonders for us.
Your plans for us are too numerous to list.
You have no equal.
If I tried to recite all your wonderful deeds,
I would never come to the end of them.
I impose my story on my life. It’s simply this: no matter how bad it gets, God will get me through it and I will brag on him.
Monday Jun 24, 2019
Monday Jun 24, 2019
6-24-19 Monday
You know as a kid I listened to a lot of Metal, hard rock and Hair metal… Little did I know it actually taught me some pretty good lessons…
Take for instance the classic Metallica song for whom the bell tolls. If you actually understood the the meaning behind it… it is a great wake up call.
For whom the bell tolls, time marches on -
You ain’t getting out of here alive… and every second gets you closer to that reality!
Jason from Menards in Madison… Hey thanks for listening and thanks for finding Kyle who was wearing the Giant slayer t shirt.
Reading from John Ortberg’s book, When the Game Is Over It
All Goes Back in the Box (Zondervan, 2007):
Lisa Rotgrak is the author of a book called Death Warmed Over, a
combination cookbook and sociological study of funeral meals and
rituals. She starts it with the story of a man dying at home in bed.
He could smell the aroma of chocolate chip cookies--his
favorite--baking downstairs. He wanted one more cookie before he
died.
He dragged his body out of bed, rolled down the stairs, crawled into
the kitchen, and reached out a trembling arm to grasp one final
cookie, when he felt the sting of a spatula smack his hand. "Put
that back," his wife said. "They're for the funeral."
The rich fool had many cookies, and he thought they were all for him.
"This is what I'll do," says the rich fool. "I will tear down my
barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store all my grain and
my goods."
One more barn. One more crop. One more cookie. Then one night out
comes the spatula. "Whack" "They don't belong to you. They're
for the funeral."
Ask not for whom the spatula whacks. It whacks for thee.
FOR WHOM THE SPATULA WHACKS.. TIME MARCHES ON..
Are you ready to die?
We typically ask ourselves questions like are we ready to retire? Are we ready to get married? Are we ready to have kids?
BUT ARE YOU READY TO DIE?
Well if I say yes, does that mean God will take me right now? Probably not… but it’s still a good question. However it actually leads us to an even better question: Are we really living?
I am going to assume most of you have a solid relationship with God and your future in heaven is secure: if not take time to ask God to take control of your life and then seek to know him more… BUT ANYWAY…
Here are three things to practice living in order to be ready to die.
- Let your wife, kids, family and friends know you are ready to die. I many times tell my boys things like “regardless of what happens to me, I am ready to die, so live in such a way that you meet me in heaven when you die”. I want those closest to me to know I am at peace when it comes to dying regardless of how and when. I am always ready to meet Jesus. And I let them know why… I have a relationship with God the father through the work of Christ on the cross.
Maybe the greatest example of life, is dying the right way.
Secondly I want to try everything I see Jesus do in the New Testament… at least once. I want to try to multiply food (I multiplied gas) I want to command weather (I did) I want blind eyes to see, lame to walk, dead to rise, Walk on water (I did that…Ok, I was barefoot waterskiing) cast out demons, (did it) preach, teach, rebuke the religious etc… Yes we all have a bucket list to some degree… I have a bible list. Will I raise the dead… I haven’t yet- but I have tried. But I don’t want to ever wonder if…
You want to make your bible reading time more exciting start writing down what Jesus does and check them off when you try it… then check them off when you do it.
Third- practice dying. I have had this opportunity. After colon cancer, then liver cancer, a brain tumor… I have had many opportunities to practice dying. I have talked about how my wife will survive, life insurance, my funeral plans- songs I want played etc.. I have told my boys how to live after my death, what to think and how to take care of their mom.
See I have had the luxury of being given a time in which to expect to die (BTW they have things call “lifeclocks” that countdown your life to the tenth of a second) But we as men like being prepared for emergencies… what greater emergency than death. Are you ready? Practice! I can’t think of a better motivator!
In the words of the famous missionary Jim Elliot “when it comes time to die… make sure that’s all you have left to do”!
Now what’s todays challenge?
Friday Jun 21, 2019
Friday Jun 21, 2019
6-21-19 Friday
Who’s your favorite super hero?
Batman is not a superhero!
Superman is a little weird…
I will challenge you today to reconsider who your superhero is… and I think you will be very surprised!
Friday - 48 hours to invite
Erik P.
Scripture is clear on many things… but one thing stands out for sure… Life will be hard, but if you continue to serve God it will pay off - Maybe not here on earth, but like 1 Peter Chapter 2 says: We will be rewarded if not now, up in heaven.
Think of all our biblical heroes - why are they heroes? They overcame the odds.
Abraham - too old to have kids- but he does!
Makes mistakes but God still honors him.
Samson goes down in a blaze of glory toppling the temple on top of his enemies.
David, takes on Goliath, and the philistines,
Shad, Shack and Bennie won’t bow and don’t burn
Daniel thrown into the lions den, God shuts their mouths
All but one of the disciples died a martyrs death unwilling to denounce Christ.
I have met many modern day heroes in the faith. They have suffered financial trauma, many have had family members die at the hands of their enemies, many in prisoned for smuggling bibles or preaching Jesus. The list goes on and on…
We are overcomer’s in Christ Jesus. Rom. 8:37
1 John 5: 4, 5 For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world--our faith. Who is the one who overcomes the world, but he who believes that Jesus is the Son of God?
1 John 4:4 Greater is he that is in YOU then he that is in the world! HE (the enemy, satan, the problem provider, the menace, the fly in the ointment, the pain in the A…
We love stories of overcomer’s. Whether in the sports world, business, entrepreneurs, family struggles etc…
We love stories of overcomer’s…. Learn to love your story! You get to trust God to make it through and be your own hero and the hero of those around you.
My marriage early on was a disaster. it was full of fights, yelling, screaming, accusations, There would be months of a sexless cold relationship and zero talking…
I prayed, I prayed I prayed, I fasted and I used that fire inside me to push into God. My prayer was “Your grace is enough to make me happy even in an unhappy marriage”. And then slowly over time God started to break into my wife life little by little, then miracles started happening and then crazy acts of God started to manifest in our lives.
TODAY I WOULDN’T CHANGE IT FOR THE WORLD. First off, my marriage -having gone through -hell is rock solid- my wife and I can go through anything now and it only makes us closer. The Sex is better and more frequent then ever (and Im 54) our communication is amazing. We are truly best friends. BUT MOSTLY - the painful trial of marriage early on was what drove me to God (and not another woman) it created the intimacy with God I never knew before. and rather than blaming my wife and divorcing her (which is really just saying “God you are not big enough to change her and us, and it is also saying I am just selfish and want things easy - and it says I am most important not God… and finally it is proving I am a liar because I said in good times and bad)
Was it easy- not for a second.
Was it worth it? of course. It proved Gods faithfulness…
and I get to live a heroes story. My wife thanks me continually for not giving up on her or us.
People who are most successful in life have one common trait… they are able to overcome obstacles and problems. It builds their self esteem, it teaches them things they could have never learned otherwise and it gives them great stories!
Al Siebert Ph.D. says it like this.
(Vietnam vets, Holocaust survivors, gunshot victims, parents who lost children, rape victims etc…) The resilient ones tended to overcome these things due to a "curious, playful, adaptive personality trait. They would internally almost shake their head and say “wow, I did not see that coming, but let’s learn from it, get better and move on.”
THATS YOU!
You not only become a hero to your family and one of Gods heroes, but you become more valuable from the pain and the journey!
The beauty of your pain and problems…
Your pain creates a greater value and love for OTHER people in pain.
When I had broken my neck back when I was 18, I had a halo vest on my head. Too many questions…
Went to a pizza hut, just wanted to play an arcade game and I felt a girl standing next to me… ahhhhggg! But when I was done, I looked at her and realized she knew my pain.
She knew what questions to ask, she had empathy in her eyes… we connected.
I now have the same connection with people who have had traumatic experiences. Im a hero to many because of my story!
Repeat after me:
I will get through today, I will get through this week, I will get through this month, I will get through this year… and I will be God’s hero. I will be my hero!
Todays challenge: Take time to write out a few things you are learning and you will share in the future when you get through what you are going through.
Thursday Jun 20, 2019
Thursday Jun 20, 2019
Wednesday Jun 19, 2019
Wednesday Jun 19, 2019
Tuesday Jun 18, 2019
Tuesday Jun 18, 2019
6-18-19 Tuesday
I have a lot of tools in a huge tool chest in my garage. But I never use them… ever. I am horrible with those types of tools. But there are other tools I have that I am great with… that get just about any job done… today I will teach you how you can have the same tools I have!
Quote from the book Influencer: in an interdependent, turbulent world, our biggest opponents- the moral enemy of all families, companies and communities - may well be our inability to work in concert. Since rarely does any of of us have all that’s required to succeed with the complex tasks we face very day, we desperately need to build social capital.
P.92
Who is in your box?
My box: I have mechanics, tech people, counselors, nutritionists, pastors, evangelists, friends, best friends, money people, carpenters, sales coaches, cooks, trainers etc… I have a box full of go to people.
But here is the secret - I have invested greatly into all of these people. I call them when I don’t need anything, check in, pray for them, ask how the family is doing etc…
I am there for them when they need prayer, counsel or just to help them move!
Think of Jesus. He invested his life into 12 men…
He died for them.
And the example he set was for the disciples who also invested in each others lives.
We sometimes get so caught up in our agenda we forget that our agenda OUR GOALS are met at a higher rate of speed when we meet the needs of others.
Remember when God said “give and it shall be given back to you in greater return”. Thats not just a principle for money… that in fact may be the greatest principle for life.
God so loved the world that he GAVE…
Learn to give to others.
Todays world praises the “self made man”. What a shallow concept. If there is anything that will hold you back it is trying to live up to that fallacy.
Monday Jun 17, 2019
Monday Jun 17, 2019
6-17-19 Friday
One of the toughest jobs today is to be a father. I just read that the average age now for boys to view porn is 8 years of age… How do we combat these types of challenges in todays world!
I had a great fathers day… and birthday.
Later today I will post my totals and pictures on facebook. And just brag on God who saved me from colon cancer, lymphatic, and liver cancer and a brain tumor… I was supposed to die 6 years ago… so you tell me how I look for a dead guy.
My goal is to not look my age (27 twice) and to bench over 400, squat over 600 and deadlift over 600 up until I am 60. So far so good.
Happy Fathers day. If you are not a father then pass it on to your Dad.
Todays challenges are beyond what I was raised with, beyond what I faced raising my boys… we are in uncharted waters for sure.
3 ways to improve your father skills.
- Learn how to talk to your kids about anything… don’t wait for the opportunity, make the opportunity.
I was just telling my son about this… we devised a plan to talk to his 4 year old about porn… You might say…what he is only 4. Hear me out: We talked about the conversation of only 4 people touch you where your bathing suit covers you… mom, dad and Gpa and Gma… and you always tell Mom and Dad when anyone try’s or does….
There are enough creepy Gpa’s out there he should still always tell his mom and dad when I or my wife touch him in those areas.
Secondly we said this summer when we go to the pool we will talk about why boys and girls wear swim suits, and why Mommy’s and Daddy’s wear swim suits etc… Then we talked about how in a year or two he will be in school and how he needs to be aware that some kids will want to show him pictures of naked people etc… and how and when to have that talk.
There is no chance involved, everything is mapped out to the best of our ability.
Don’t text it. Talk it.
Go for a long drive, put on their favorite music, get some ice cream… and let them sit in back and talk to them slowly and sincerely. (about every topic)
2. Go heavy on the physical love. Hug your kids, daily, kiss them, touch them. Rub your hands through their hair, rub their backs, give them bear hugs, wrestle with their necks and speak to them positively.
Did you know that girl’s who have their fathers present in the home and give physical affection prolong puberty in their daughters up to 6-18 months….
Boys who are shown positive physical love are far more mature, confident and less likely to fall to peer pressure.
You might say “that’s hard for me, I was not raised that way” - yeah, all the more reason to do it for your kids. Don’t cop out- just do it!
Well it will be weird to now all of a sudden just start doing it… not for your kids- it will be wonderful! and now you have no more excuses- you know how important it is so do it!
3. Be the example you want them to model.
If you have a son- be the model for him to follow as a future husband. Would you want your son to model your behavior in his marriage?
Would you want your daughter to marry someone like you?
Now here is the real challenge: Tell them that you are trying to model it for them. If they are old enough to understand then give them the right to ask you questions as to why you do what you do in marriage and family.
You know is Ephesians 6:1-4
Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise), 3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
are you worthy of being followed… is your example Godly?
Are you bringing them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord?
Friday Jun 14, 2019
Friday Jun 14, 2019
6-14-19 Friday
Ever have a great day, only to be followed by a bad day? Nothing terrible happened, it was just anticlimactic.
1 Kings 18,19
One of the greatest and most epic battle in scripture. Elijah throws down against King ahah. Lets see who’s God is real. You gather all your prophets and get your sacrifice ready and cry out to him and if he sets it on fire then you win… but if my Gods sets my sacrifice on fire… I win and YOU DIE!
Elijah throws down monstrous cutdown after cutdown to the priests of Ahab. Hey your god is sleeping cry louder… hey your god is probably on the crapper taking a dump you should yell louder and cut yourself even more.
THEN WHEN ITS HIS TURN…
He dumps water all over his sacrifice, drenching it. He says one short prayer and like a tornado of fire from heaven it shoots down and devours the sacrifice, water and the stones it was surrounded by…Look if your fire burns up the Rocks… its En Fuego!
Then Elijah commands seize the false prophets and kill them.
Then he prays and God sends rain ending a 3 year drought.
But that is not what this podcast is about… it’s about chapter 19. Because right after one of the greatest victories in scripture… Elijah obviously one of the greatest and most powerful men in scripture… goes off hiding, he is whining, he says kill me God, I am the only one left serving you…
How does this happen.
After some of our greatest battles we suffer our greatest battles with depression and loneliness.
If you talk to anyone who is in ministry they will tell you many times after the greatest moves of God in their ministry they struggle the most with all of this.
So you need to know when you have your best days you may quickly have your worst days… and they really won’t be that bad, but you will be burned out, coming off a high and everything will seem worse.
So what Does God do for Elijah
- he tells him to get some sleep
- He tells him to eat
- he tells him you are not alone there are other people serving God. He reminds them there are others to go hang out with.
Then most importantly he says listen to me…
Wind
Earthquake
Fire
Listen for the soft still voice of the Lord.
I have had some amazing services where I have preached and seen people healed, delivered, prophetic words spoken… I have preached in front of thousands.
BUT IT DOES NOT FEED ME- IT DRAINS ME -
I am fed and stirred by my quiet times with God, not by my accomplishments for God.