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Making men MEN again. The David Alliance will help you slay your giants.
Episodes
Friday Sep 20, 2019
Friday Sep 20, 2019
9-20-19 Friday
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The Injustice Collectors
In an article in Cosmopolitan magazine (October 1990, pp. 236-239), Susan Jacoby writes about people who profoundly believe they are always losers in the game of life. She calls them “injustice collectors.” (we would call it BLAMERS”) How do you spot such a person? There are several signs:
•They endlessly repeat how others have mistreated them.
•They view the world as hostile and unfair to them.
•They are “beachcombers of misery who see each grievance as a treasure to add to their collection.
•They have a hidden need to feel wrong.
They have a hidden need to always be right
They have a hidden need to always have excuses.
•They find it very difficult to forgive others because forgiveness is a sign of weakness.
•They have a competitive view of life in which others are always winning at their expense.
•They have difficulty maintaining close friendships.
•They destroy their closest relationships because they have difficulty trusting other people.
Jacoby ends her article by pointing out that it’s hard to break the habit of injustice collecting, because the people who do, derive a kind of perverse satisfaction from it. Here are the final two sentences:
The injustice collector pays for that pleasure by giving up the hope of happiness. Only when we ask whether the price tag is too steep does change become possible. (p. 239)
- 7 STOP BLAMING OTHERS
John 5:1 -9 Afterward Jesus returned to Jerusalem for one of the Jewish holy days. 2 Inside the city, near the Sheep Gate, was the pool of Bethesda, with five covered porches. 3 Crowds of sick people—blind, lame, or paralyzed—lay on the porches.[b] 5 One of the men lying there had been sick for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, he asked him, “Would you like to get well?”
7 “I can’t, sir,” the sick man said, “for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.”
8 Jesus told him, “Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!”
9 Instantly, the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking! But this miracle happened on the Sabbath,
**Notice he does not answer yes… he starts with blame.
He was asking because it was entirely possible that the man did not want to get well.
I think Jesus is probing at the level of the will. He’s saying, “Stop blaming others for your problems. I have the power to make you well. But I will not exercise my power until you decide you want to be well. If I make you well, you can’t sit here and gossip all day. If I make you well, you can’t be a beggar anymore. If I make you well, you can’t use your illness to get special treatment at home. If I make you well, you won’t get all that sympathy anymore. There’s a price to be paid for being well. Do you want to pay it?” Once you are healed you can no longer blame!
As a family in ministry we would visit my grandma where my Dad grew up. We knew everyone in that small town and everybody knew everything about everyone. So when conversations would come up about peoples problems and them complaining about wanting their problems to go away… my grandma would famously say “everyone wants to be better but no one wants to change”.
You gotta quit blaming in order to change and you gotta change in order to get healthy.
What do you get by blaming others? First deal with that and fess up! Admit it and move on with God.
IS JESUS SPEAKING TO YOU TODAY TO STOP BLAMING OTHERS. JUST FESS UP, I AM WHERE I AM BECAUSE OF ME - NO ONE ELSE.
LETS PRAY AND CONFESS AND GIVE CHRIST COMPLETE CONTROL OF OUR LIVES.
Thursday Sep 19, 2019
Thursday Sep 19, 2019
9-19-19 Thursday
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David B - reaching out regarding TDA conference
Chris A. work out…
Pastors using my stuff for sermons… go for it!
- 5 “I Guess I’m Incompetent to Run My Life”
Josh. 24:15 But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve,
Choose this day whom you will serve.
In doing that you lose the right to blame anyone but yourself.
Choosing = taking responsibility
Im either choosing God and his ways over mine or I am choosing my own ways… my own idols.
But I am choosing. By choosing I am giving up my excuses and blame.
“I Guess I’m Incompetent to Run My Life”
Bruce Larson tells of attending a seminar where Dr. William Glasser, the founder of Reality Therapy, was speaking. Dr. Glasser’s talk had one main theme: Healthy people do not make excuses. He used as an example the tendency people have to make excuses when they are late for an appointment. They will say the traffic was heavy, they got a last-second phone call, a crisis came up at the office, and so on. Dr. Glasser argued those kinds of excuses cover up the real issue. If you are late, it is because you are incompetent to run your own life. He suggested that instead of making a lame excuse the next time you are late, simply say, “I’m sorry. I guess I’m incompetent to run my own life.”
- 6 BLAME ISOLATES US
Daniel 3 Shad Shack and Benny went through the fire but did not smell like smoke. Some people go thru hard times and they smell like smoke, they have words that blame.
Another consequence of blaming is that the blamer, by alienating healthy, mature, accountable, respectful people, finds himself or herself spiraling downward into either social isolation or into a social circle of similarly destructive and low-functioning blamers. After all, birds of a feather flock together. To say the least, blaming can lead to a very unhappy social life.
There is a solution to blaming, however. It starts with awareness of when we are blaming. Other people, especially mature, healthy people, can help us with this if we only make a commitment to listen to their feedback. When we notice we are blaming, we need to stop and reflect, with humility and self-acceptance, upon what happened, and our role in the situation.
Tomorrow we talk about how to quit blaming.
Wednesday Sep 18, 2019
Wednesday Sep 18, 2019
9-18-19 Tuesday
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SHAME
Power Vs Force by David R. Hawkins, MD., Ph.D.
Shame
Early life experiences that lead to Shame-such as sexual abuse-warp the personality for a lifetime unless these issues are resolved by therapy. Shame, as Freud determined, produces neurosis. It’s destructive to emotional ,10d psychological health and, as a consequence of low selfsteem, makes one prone to the development of physical illness. The Shame-based personality is shy, withdrawn, ) and introverted. Shame is used as a tool of cruelty, and its victims I ,often become cruel themselves. Shamed children are brutal to animals and to each other. The behavior of people whose.’ Consciousness is only in the 20s is dangerous: they’re prone to hallucinations of an accusatory nature, as well as paranoia; some become psychotic or commit bizarre crimes. Some Shame-based individuals compensate with perfectionism and rigidity, becoming driven and intolerant. notorious examples are the moral extremists who form vigilante groups, projecting their own unconscious shame onto others whom they then feel justified in righteously attacking. Serial killers have often acted out of sexual moralism, with the justification of punishing “bad” women. Since it pulls down the whole level of personality, shame results in a vulnerability to the other negative emotions, and, therefore often produces false pride, anger, and guilt.
- 4 Blame and shame go hand in hand.
Shame disconnects you with who you really are.
"And God said, ’Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten from the tree of which I commanded you that you should not eat?’ Then the man said, ’The woman whom You gave to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I ate.’ And the Lord God said to the woman, ’What is this that you have done?’ The woman said, ’The serpent deceived me, and I ate." Genesis 3:11-13. Adam and Eve Sin = Blame and Shame
After they sinned they covered themselves up
The Bear and shame
Bear eating out of a dumpster - violent, this is not who I really am. Don’t look at me.
Whether we blame others or others blame us… it can tether us to shame. If I do not deal with my actions and do not take responsibility then I blame, then shame comes along because I know inside I am not owning up to who I am and MORE IMPORTANTLY who I am supposed to be.
Then comes anger, outrage, narcissism and a moral perfectionism that is simply to hard to swallow by anyone-
God calls us to quit blaming so that we quit living in shame. We must come to God and ask him to help us own our sin and blame and help us to break free from it.
This is the only way to be who we were created to be in Christ Jesus.
Tuesday Sep 17, 2019
Tuesday Sep 17, 2019
9-16-19 Monday
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Bill Cosby tells the story of jumping on the bed… his father came up and said one more time and you all get a whooping. When he came up again Bill blamed a stranger who came in through the window… you don’t have a window… “HE BROUGHT IT WITH HIM”!
*Sound dumb?
Yes but so do our excuses and our blame.
- 3 WE DON’T SEE IT
WE are not very good at figuring out the causes of other people's behavior, let alone our own. The attributions we make, whether to luck or ability, can be distorted by our tendency to make illogical judgments. And we're just as bad at making judgments involving the blameworthiness of actions in terms of intent vs. outcome.
* *HERE IS A SECRET there are hidden sins and sinful issues out there, you can’t see them but they are everywhere. OH WE CAN SEE THEM, BECAUSE WE ARE NOT YOU! But you can’t see them because they are in you. So rather than deal with them, accept the truth from others we blame.
Psalm 139: 23 Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:
24 And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Why would we ask God to search us? Why would we ask him to know our heart, thoughts and personhood? Is it just to expose us? NO.
OBVIOUSLY…. because we can’t. It is just too hard to know ourselves especially as well as God does.
Blame is sneaky, it can sound like reason or you misunderstood their information, or YOU don’t understand why… but you will very rarely hear someone say “well, I blame…”.
We can fool people by sounding right… but we can’t fool God.
THE SNEAKIEST THING ABOUT BLAME…
Blaming is a way of choosing not to receive God‘s forgiveness or his redeeming power.
It keeps us from his true presence!
So when we ask him to search us and know us… it is because he wants us to fess up, ask for forgiveness and allow more of his Spirit to control us and flow in us.
Monday Sep 16, 2019
Monday Sep 16, 2019
9-16-19 Monday
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work out room, pool sauna
The Devil made me do it
INTRO:
BLAME
You are driving 100 mph in a 45 mph zone, you lose control, flip your car on a sharp curve, and critically injure yourself, who is at fault? No, not you, the Dept. of Transportation for not making the degree of banking on the curve great enough to keep you on the road at 100 mph.
You are going 75 mph in a 55 mph, and you are pulled over, given a ticket that gives you enough points to have your license suspended. Who is to blame? No, not you. The officer should have been a little more sympathetic to your situation.
You are wearing a shirt that needs to be ironed. Instead of taking it off, you try to iron with it on and guess what? That’s right, you get burned. Shame on you right? No, it is the company who made the iron who deserves blame because they should have warned you that ironing clothes while they are on your body is dangerous.
You pull through McDonalds for some hot, yes hot coffee. While trying to drive your car, eat your Egg McMuffun, you spill your hot, yes hot coffee all over yourself. You moron right? No, it is McDonalds fault for making that coffee too hot!
OK, one more. You decide that you need to fix the electrical component in your TV. Without unplugging it, you begin your work. Uh Oh! You guessed it. You get fried! Dumb you right? No, RCA should have told you that you were at risk for electric shock!
Here is how deep this gets… A girl goes to a party and she is drinking and gets drunk… she gets raped… we think she shouldn’t have been drinking…We blame her
A man is living on the street begging for money… we say he should get a job… we blame him
Blame = Delaying the consequences for sinful behavior.
Responsibility = Accepting the consequences for sinful behavior.
WHY:
- 1 Blame Keeps us from having to change. = We are called by God to change… to be more like his son Jesus.
As long as I don’t have to take responsibility I don’t have to change.
Matthew 16:24 Therefore if anyone wants to follow me he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me.
We are called to die to our excuses and blame…
It says nothing about denying sin or dying to sin… but excuses and blame.
We sin because of excuses, we excuse it through blame.
People who are successful in every area of life have one thing in common, they believe they have a key part, a responsibility in the out come. If they fail they do not blame but take full responsibility, if they win they take full responsibility… they don’t say it was luck or by coincidence.
Friday Sep 13, 2019
Friday Sep 13, 2019
9-13-19 Friday
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A few months ago I had an ear infection that was so bad it was up into my eyes and next to my brain… but it through my balance off terribly.
2 Peter 3:17 You therefore, beloved, knowing this beforehand, be on your guard so that you are not carried away by the error of unprincipled men and fall from your own steadfastness,
Eph. 5:15 Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise,
Let’s check your balance.
3 balancing questions.
Would you want to be married to you?
Regardless of wether or not you are married…
Would you want to be treated the way your treat your spouse?
Would you want to be loved the way you treat your spouse?
Would you want the same attitude used against you as you use against your spouse?
Would you want your kids to have your spiritual walk?
When I pay $300 for a conference I hope the speaker put in at least $300 worth of preparation.
When my kids grow up I can honestly say I want them to have my quiet time.
Do you want your kids to handle temptation the way you do?
Here is the kicker… they typically will be just like you so set the bar high.
Would you want your wife to know what only you know?
What is on your mind…
What is on your computer and history
What is on your phone
What is your conversation about with the guys
Thursday Sep 12, 2019
Thursday Sep 12, 2019
9-12-19 Thursday
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708-747-3500 Holiday inn 1 room 2 double beds $79
work out room, pool sauna
Met with the TDA staff tonight… oh my goodness, it is going to be so fantastic!
Whats on your head…
in 2012 a study tried to determine how hair color affects people. People put on different wigs of different hair color to see how they did at asking people out. The results? Women wearing blonde wigs were approached way more then any other wig color. However men struck out wether they wore blond or brunette wigs.
And he is another crazy thought about hair color… Red heads are twice as likely to avoid the dentist then most other people. Why? They are significantly more sensitive to pain and need at least 20% more anesthetic to reach an optimum dose. Red heads have the MC1R gene with influences pain receptivity…
So what’s on your head?
I am slowly losing my hair… I lost it all in chemo (check my photos out on FB- I look mean)
But God calls us to care about what is on our head. Eph. 6 speaking of the spiritual armor we are to wear.
The Helmet of salvation = Do you think saved?
Regardless of what comes your way- do you first think like a saved man. A man completely devoted to God so that when the IT HITS THE FAN you don’t vere, you don’t divert, you don’t shrink, you don’t wonder, doubt or panic… you simply think like a saved man.
Oh and the sword of the spirit… make no mistake these are together in the same verse for a reason. You gotta first win the war upstairs to win it in real life. Any good fighter knows the real battle before you enter the ring, cage, race or contest is in your head. If you are not thinking like a winner chances are you will not win.
I may have told this story before but when I was studying Budo Aikido back in the day I would practice hours to master moves, strikes, punches kicks etc… They became second nature. So one night in the kitchen my wife and I have only been married 2 years and she goes to snap me with a dish towel … we were joking around of course- but instinctively I blocked her hand and swept her leg and pulled back to strike… I was shocked… first at how terrified she was… and rightly so. Secondly at how fast and without reservation or flaw I went into action. Inside I was giddy… I couldn’t let me wife see that, but I was like wow my mind has really got this down.
Do you have the mind of a saved man?
Wednesday Sep 11, 2019
Wednesday Sep 11, 2019
9-11-19 Wednesday
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Secret weapon: I googled some ideas behind secret weapons.
Kindness
Government laser beams, heart attack guns and mind control…
You need one secret weapon… one verse that takes care of every issue, problem, worry, need and obstacle in your walk. AND I HAVE IT.
I have given you authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy; nothing will harm you. Luke 10:19
Authority = delegated power and authority. A virtual personal embodiment of power.
Power = Miraculous power
properly, "ability to perform" (L-N); for the believer, power to achieve by applying the Lord's inherent abilities. "Power through God's ability" (1411 /dýnamis) is needed in every scene of life to really grow in sanctification and prepare for heaven (glorification). 1411 (dýnamis) is a very important term, used 120 times in the NT.
Trample - to tread underfoot, trample on, i. e. treat with insult and contempt: trample to advance.
Snakes = any demonic or satanic force
Scorpions = denote pain from things that seem harmless but actually cause great pain. people who we think have our back but actually hurt us.
Harm = nothing ill, sinful or wrongful will be acted upon you.
so let me put this to you straight…
When a problem comes in our life wether we recognize it or not (regardless of what it is -demonic, physical, other people etc…)
We become the virtual reality of Jesus through the HS in us. to crush it, not only to destroy but make it look foolish and to advance us in our walk with Christ.
Tuesday Sep 10, 2019
Tuesday Sep 10, 2019
9-10-19 Tuesday
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Just ask
Matthew 8 Jesus is asleep in the boat… the disciples cry out to him.
Matthew 14 the storm and peter walks on water
Matthew 15 the gentile women asks Jesus to heal her daughter… but even the dogs get the crumbs… Great faith.
In everyone of these instances Jesus did not respond to the problem he responded to the cry for help! And in the case of the woman he did not respond to her standing as a Jewish citizen… but rather her faith. But either way, Jesus was passive until pushed.
PUSH
Pray
Until
Something
Happens
Simply being a Christian and walking through life in good times and bad times is not enough - in fact it’s passive. We must be willing to call out to him, cry out to him… and maybe (like the disciples) with very little faith OR like the Gentile women great faith but not the right standing in Christ.
What did James 4:2,3 say “you have not because you ask not”.
Sometimes when a problem comes along we simply Hope, or worry or wait or think good thoughts… BUT DO WE ASK?
When I was 16 years old a college kid in our church had a beautiful E type Jaguar. Classic, beautiful and soooo cool. I asked him if I could borrow it sometime to take a girl on a date. He said if I was willing to wash it and vacuum it I could use it…??? That seemed way to easy. But it taught me a great lesson- you gotta ask.
What are you waiting on God for? Why not right now say a prayer of faith and ask him for it.
Monday Sep 09, 2019
Monday Sep 09, 2019
9-9-19 Monday
TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com
708-747-3500 Holiday inn 1 room 2 double beds $79
work out room, pool sauna
Long time listener Rick B congrats on the engagement!
In the real world a lack of attention to detail costs businesses billions of dollars.
Most managers say that as many as 80% of their work force don’t pay attention to detail.
In marriage a lack of attention to detail costs many people their marriage. They don’t realize until it’s too late that their marriage is falling apart… and yes, then it’s too late.
How many times have you seen people sitting at a table on their phone paying no attention to their family or friends… or worse yet driving the car and looking at their phone.
But even more in our spiritual walk.
Attention is the fuel to the spiritual life. Michael Koulianos
Be Careful of the dove! Bill Johnson
3 Thoughts regarding catching God in the act of using you!
Look for the dove in small details.
At the gym, at the coffee shop, on break at work, at the store, when your neighbor is outside.
I was at a graduation party this summer… I had $80 on me and God said… give it to her!
The more you look for the dove… the more you will hear I’m speak to you.
Make sure you are not disturbing the dove.
For me:
Not enough food or sleep
To much secular music - I like metal
To much media - computer phone etc…
To little time in scripture, prayer and meditation
*Look this is hard to say without sounding egotistical… but God uses me a lot. I hope he uses me even more…
- 1 but I put in about 2 hours a day in prayer and scripture and meditation.
- 2 I am hungry for it. If you are not hungry for it- ask God to make you hungry for it.
- 3 I am willing to be a fool for Jesus
But there are a lot of obstacles out there and I need to feed the spiritual man to overcompensate for them.
Check your day over at night.
The unexamined life is not worth living. Socrates
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. Ps. 139:23
my night prayer - search me oh God and know my heart (how did I do today?) Did I ruffle the dove, Did I miss opportunities?
My day prayer - and test me and know my anxious thoughts
(Test me today and show me my strengths and weaknesses, where I need to trust you more and take steps of faith) Show me today where I need to pay attention to your spirit moving.
Scotty A - best friends…