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Making men MEN again. The David Alliance will help you slay your giants.
Episodes
Sunday Jun 30, 2024
Sunday Jun 30, 2024
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com
BAM - watch them every Tuesday night on our Facebook page.
August Friday and Saturday 16th 17th End times conference at HillSpring Church sponsored by The David Alliance,
Whats that noise? Your wife left her earrings in the ashtray!
How do we endure?
Psalm 100:1 Make a joyful noise…
GK Roo-ahh
A Battle cry…. In your battle, in your noise you cry out for joy.
Whats your noise?
depression, and anxiety, sickness, marital problems, waiting for a husband issues with your kids. These are all noise. Now make it joyful.
We are His people and the sheep of His pasture.
4
Enter into His gates with thanksgiving,
And into His courts with praise.
Be thankful to Him, and bless His name.
5
For the Lord is good;
His mercy is everlasting,
And His truth endures to all generations.
Thursday Jun 27, 2024
Thursday Jun 27, 2024
Garth Heckman
THE David Alliance
What can you teach us this year?
Matt.26:39
39 Going a little farther, He fell facedown and prayed, “My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me. Yet not as I will, but as You will.” 40 Then Jesus returned to the disciples and found them sleeping. “ Were you not able to keep watch with Me for one hour?” He asked Peter. 41 “Watch and pray so that you will not enter into temptation. For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”…
The outcome is inevitable - so why pray? Wrestle with your boys
Tuesday Jun 25, 2024
Tuesday Jun 25, 2024
Garth Heckman
7 steps to make boys men… and 7 dangers to keep them boys
Luke 2:52 stature, favor wisdom
1. Taking Responsibility:
Real men understand the importance of taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. This habit goes beyond simply admitting when they are wrong; it involves owning up to the consequences of their choices and working to make amends. They don't make excuses or blame others for their circumstances. Instead, they face challenges head-on and use their experiences as learning opportunities. By taking responsibility, they build credibility and trust with others, which is foundational for any meaningful relationship. This practice fosters maturity and accountability, setting the stage for personal and professional growth.
1A Video games. These are used to escape responsibility and relationships.
Without a great father figure it can seem impossible to live up to ones potential. You can feel overwhelmed and insecure. Enter video games. You can be a winner, you can start over, you can meet people and not really have to meet people, you can kill time….
You can master a video game and even stand out amongst your peers… you can’t master life. It will alwasy win in the long run. The best you can do is hope to learn as much from it as possible.
2. Developing Self-Discipline:
Self-discipline is a cornerstone habit that men cultivate in all areas of life. They set clear, achievable goals and establish effective routines to reach them. This involves prioritizing long-term benefits over short-term pleasures, such as maintaining a healthy lifestyle, managing finances wisely, or advancing in their careers. By mastering self-discipline, they develop the ability to stay focused and resilient in the face of distractions and setbacks. This habit empowers them to make consistent progress toward their aspirations, ultimately leading to a more fulfilled and purposeful life.
2A Poor habits are the key to a lack of self discipline. You don’t need discipline if you have great habits, and you don’t need great habits if you choose to just drift in life. But listen you need self discipline to cement the habit, but once it is there you got it. Poor habits help you explain why you can’t control the world…so instead you choose to let it control you…. And your excuses neve make up for poor habits. You want your boy to stay a boy? Let his early life of entropy build bad habits… and you will definitely create a boy for life!
3. Seeking Continuous Growth:
Boys to Men are committed to personal growth and lifelong learning. They actively seek new knowledge, skills, and experiences, understanding that growth is a continuous process. They embrace challenges and step out of their comfort zones to push their boundaries. This habit includes reading, attending workshops, learning new hobbies, or seeking mentorship. By constantly pushing themselves to improve, they become more adaptable and innovative, capable of navigating an ever-changing world. This commitment to growth not only enhances their own lives but also positively impacts those around them.
As a father what do your boys see you learning and developing? When there in school its easy for them to think they are learning the habit of learning… but that's where you have to push them and show them that learning outside of school is like you learning outside of your own job. You must always be developing yourself beyond your normal routine. I just took a First responders course… tomorrow im taking a course on AI… my boys see that in me, they practice the same things.
3A Stagnation or lacking growth poses only a threat to yourself, your family and your future. It is also the key to maintaining a joy LESS life. Growth can do a lot for you… and lacking in growth can also do a lot for you… but guaranteed it it will keep your son from learning what true joy is.
4. Cultivating Emotional Intelligence:
Here is a thought, men don't leave jobs they leave bosses. Emotional intelligence tells you when how and where to do that. Or it may tell you why people are leaving you?
Emotional intelligence is crucial for building strong, meaningful relationships. Men develop self-awareness, allowing them to understand their emotions and the impact they have on others. They regulate their emotions effectively, ensuring that their reactions are appropriate and constructive. By empathizing with others, they build deeper connections and navigate social complexities with ease. Effective communication and mature conflict resolution are key aspects of this habit, fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding.
4A lacking emotional intelligence
Lacking emotional intelligence means you will never know yourself, understand yourself, and or even know how to grow and get out of life's pitfalls that you created in your own life. What's the saying again- an unexamined life is not worth living.
A lack of emotional intelligence leads to a higher degree of stress, burnout, anxiety, depression.
Have you ever talked to a young person who is at the end of their rope and life seems like it's going to end because they failed a class or the girlfriend broke up with them? They lack emotional intelligence.
A key to building emotional intelligence in your boys is to help them look at others around their life and problems they are dealing with. Ask them how their friends got into those problems and how their friends should deal with those problems and then ask them what they would do if they got into those problems.
Luke 2:52 stature, favor wisdom
5. Showing Respect:
Real men treat others with respect, regardless of their background or status. They listen attentively, value different perspectives, and treat everyone with dignity. This habit is about recognizing the inherent worth of every individual and behaving in ways that reflect this understanding. Respect is earned through actions, not demanded, and men who consistently show respect build strong, supportive networks both personally and professionally.
5A Respect isn’t earned, it is given until it is lost. I might not agree with you but I must learn to respect you. If I do not learn to respect I begin to adopt a mindset of elitism and arrogance. At the base of this is I am choosing to be dumb… Im unwilling to learn from you because I know better than you. Ultimately it translates into your healthy relationships, and even your body language. You isolate healthy helpful meaningful relationships from your life.
6. Practicing Integrity:
Integrity involves upholding high moral and ethical standards. Men who practice integrity act with honesty, honor, and consistency in their personal and professional lives. They value trust and are true to their word, ensuring that their actions align with their values and principles. This habit builds a reputation of reliability and respect, fostering trust and admiration from others.
6A Heres the problem at the core… you lie to yourself. You will never trust yourself to take chances to grow.
7. Embracing Leadership:
Leadership is not just about holding positions of power; it's about taking initiative and inspiring others. Men who embrace leadership make decisions confidently, take responsibility for their outcomes, and motivate those around them to achieve their full potential. They lead by example, demonstrating the behaviors and attitudes they wish to see in others. This habit involves empowering others, contributing positively to families, workplaces, and communities, and striving to create a better environment for all.
Incorporating these habits transforms boys into men by fostering maturity, responsibility, and the ability to positively influence their surroundings.
People who learn to lead without titles will always be sought out.
7A if you cant lead yourself, you won’t lead anyone else. I personally believe way too much is spoken about leadership, and far to less on personal leadership.
What does stress come from? It comes from not living up to your values… but if you cant self lead you will never live up to your values.
Monday Jun 24, 2024
Monday Jun 24, 2024
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
3. Seeking Continuous Growth:
Boys to Men are committed to personal growth and lifelong learning. They actively seek new knowledge, skills, and experiences, understanding that growth is a continuous process. They embrace challenges and step out of their comfort zones to push their boundaries. This habit includes reading, attending workshops, learning new hobbies, or seeking mentorship. By constantly pushing themselves to improve, they become more adaptable and innovative, capable of navigating an ever-changing world. This commitment to growth not only enhances their own lives but also positively impacts those around them.
As a father what do your boys see you learning and developing? When there in school its easy for them to think they are learning the habit of learning… but that's where you have to push them and show them that learning outside of school is like you learning outside of your own job. You must always be developing yourself beyond your normal routine. I just took a First responders course… tomorrow im taking a course on AI… my boys see that in me, they practice the same things.
3A Stagnation or lacking growth poses only a threat to yourself, your family and your future. It is also the key to maintaining a joy LESS life. Growth can do a lot for you… and lacking in growth can also do a lot for you… but guaranteed it it will keep your son from learning what true joy is.
4. Cultivating Emotional Intelligence:
Here is a thought, men don't leave jobs they leave bosses. Emotional intelligence tells you when how and where to do that. Or it may tell you why people are leaving you?
Emotional intelligence is crucial for building strong, meaningful relationships. Men develop self-awareness, allowing them to understand their emotions and the impact they have on others. They regulate their emotions effectively, ensuring that their reactions are appropriate and constructive. By empathizing with others, they build deeper connections and navigate social complexities with ease. Effective communication and mature conflict resolution are key aspects of this habit, fostering an environment of mutual respect and understanding.
4A lacking emotional intelligence
Lacking emotional intelligence means you will never know yourself, understand yourself, and or even know how to grow and get out of life's pitfalls that you created in your own life. What's the saying again- an unexamined life is not worth living.
A lack of emotional intelligence leads to a higher degree of stress, burnout, anxiety, depression.
Have you ever talked to a young person who is at the end of their rope and life seems like it's going to end because they failed a class or the girlfriend broke up with them? They lack emotional intelligence.
A key to building emotional intelligence in your boys is to help them look at others around their life and problems they are dealing with. Ask them how their friends got into those problems and how their friends should deal with those problems and then ask them what they would do if they got into those problems.
Sunday Jun 23, 2024
Sunday Jun 23, 2024
Garth Heckman
7 steps to make boys men… and 7 dangers to keep them boys
Luke 2:52
1. Taking Responsibility:
Real men understand the importance of taking responsibility for their actions and decisions. This habit goes beyond simply admitting when they are wrong; it involves owning up to the consequences of their choices and working to make amends. They don't make excuses or blame others for their circumstances. Instead, they face challenges head-on and use their experiences as learning opportunities. By taking responsibility, they build credibility and trust with others, which is foundational for any meaningful relationship. This practice fosters maturity and accountability, setting the stage for personal and professional growth.
1A Video games. These are used to escape responsibility and relationships.
Without a great father figure it can seem impossible to live up to ones potential. You can feel overwhelmed and insecure. Enter video games. You can be a winner, you can start over, you can meet people and not really have to meet people, you can kill time….
You can master a video game and even stand out amongst your peers… you can’t master life. It will alwasy win in the long run. The best you can do is hope to learn as much from it as possible.
2. Developing Self-Discipline:
Self-discipline is a cornerstone habit that men cultivate in all areas of life. They set clear, achievable goals and establish effective routines to reach them. This involves prioritizing long-term benefits over short-term pleasures, such as maintaining a healthy lifestyle, managing finances wisely, or advancing in their careers. By mastering self-discipline, they develop the ability to stay focused and resilient in the face of distractions and setbacks. This habit empowers them to make consistent progress toward their aspirations, ultimately leading to a more fulfilled and purposeful life.
2A Poor habits are the key to a lack of self discipline. You don’t need discipline if you have great habits, and you don’t need great habits if you choose to just drift in life. But listen you need self discipline to cement the habit, but once it is there you got it. Poor habits help you explain why you can’t control the world…so instead you choose to let it control you…. And your excuses neve make up for poor habits. You want your boy to stay a boy? Let his early life of entropy build bad habits… and you will definitely create a boy for life!
Wednesday Jun 19, 2024
Wednesday Jun 19, 2024
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com
BAM - watch them every Tuesday night on our Facebook page.
August Friday and Saturday 16th 17th End times conference at HillSpring Church sponsored by The David Alliance,
Matthew 25
Parable of the Ten Bridesmaids
25 “Then the Kingdom of Heaven will be like ten bridesmaids[a] who took their lamps and went to meet the bridegroom. 2 Five of them were foolish, and five were wise. 3 The five who were foolish didn’t take enough olive oil for their lamps, 4 but the other five were wise enough to take along extra oil. 5 When the bridegroom was delayed, they all became drowsy and fell asleep.
6 “At midnight they were roused by the shout, ‘Look, the bridegroom is coming! Come out and meet him!’
7 “All the bridesmaids got up and prepared their lamps. 8 Then the five foolish ones asked the others, ‘Please give us some of your oil because our lamps are going out.’
9 “But the others replied, ‘We don’t have enough for all of us. Go to a shop and buy some for yourselves.’
10 “But while they were gone to buy oil, the bridegroom came. Then those who were ready went in with him to the marriage feast, and the door was locked. 11 Later, when the other five bridesmaids returned, they stood outside, calling, ‘Lord! Lord! Open the door for us!’
12 “But he called back, ‘Believe me, I don’t know you!’
13 “So you, too, must keep watch! For you do not know the day or hour of my return.
In the end times… don’t run out of oil
If oil is so valuable in so many ways… why would these virgins forget to take more oil… And yes in regards to the anointing of following christ - ?Why? We get a little insight in 2 Timothy.
2 Tim. 4:3For the time will come when men will not tolerate sound doctrine, but with itching ears they will gather around themselves teachers to suit their own desires. 4So they will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths. 5But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry.…
They were fooled into thinking that didn’t need oil anymore. They got tired of oil… they got Tired of Jesus… weird right, but it can happen unless you keep your life full of his oil, his anointing, his intimacy…
Monday Jun 17, 2024
Monday Jun 17, 2024
WTF UP Killer
Garth Heckman the David alliance
BAM- Tonights BAM is Porn the enemy.
Jay cook state park…
Seasons in the Abyss 1990
Prov.15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.
HB answer = how you respond
Wrath - heat or rage… it escalates
Harsh - a specific word to incite pain
Anger - Not only makes you angry but changes your countenance
- This is one more opportunity to lean in on Gods grace and be changed in a healthy way,,, become more like Jesus.
- remember, silence is not strength but rather cowardice and weakness.
Sunday Jun 16, 2024
Sunday Jun 16, 2024
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com
BAM - watch them every Tuesday night on our Facebook page.
August Friday and Saturday 16th 17th End times conference at HillSpring Church sponsored by The David Alliance,
8 reasons why you shut your mouth and quit sharing your life and struggles with your woman…
And what you can do about it… this will be a series…
7 - if I share with you how I truly feel, and you feel attacked and turn it into an argument, I will typically never share with you on that topic again.
8 - you may have trauma in your life from the past, so it causes you to overreact, or read into how she responds.
i.e. you bring it up but you don’t set the tone right, so you don’t bring it up thinking its her but its actually you who cant deal with it.
How to deal with it
- Find a lightning rod
- seek spiritual counseling
- stay around strong Christian men
- Challenge negative and controlling thoughts, - embrace forgiveness
- We talked about this before, but again
- remind her, there are three types of relationships. One is healthy. What is unhealthy and one is no relationship. Challenge her to choose healthy or there will be no relationship in that area.
- realize you can build confidence in confrontation. You don't need her to respond correctly in order so that you continue to speak the truth in love. But always speak the truth in love regardless of how she might accept it. This is how you build unshakable confidence.
Thursday Jun 13, 2024
Thursday Jun 13, 2024
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com
BAM - watch them every Tuesday night on our Facebook page.
August Friday and Saturday 16th 17th End times conference at HillSpring Church sponsored by The David Alliance,
8 reasons why you shut your mouth and quit sharing your life and struggles with your woman…
And what you can do about it… this will be a series…
Silence is not strength. If You choose to not deal with hurts and issues realize you are choosing the easiest thing To do -not the hardest or most brave… and definitely not the healthiest way to deal with issues.
Yes we all have stuff to deal with and we all have stuff to bury… but should we?
And Why Do we??
4 - you were taught to internalize things
Next door neighbor…. Professional athlete…baseball in the backyard
5 - sometimes men don't share because they don't understand the dynamics of a healthy relationship. And maybe the partner doesn't either so they're both stuck in emotional lockdown.
Partners share all things in a healthy relationship.
The more healthy a relationship the more you share your intimate moments, details and insecurities… even sins - typically a sign of health. AND NOT just share them but work thru them.
6 - Another reason is he just may not trust you. He knows you just cant keep a secret due to your own insecurities.
He sees you with others… they ask you (your wife) to not say anything… and you say OH I WOULD NEVER… but than you do, so im not going to say anything to you im not worried about sharing with others even if you promise me you wont.
Wednesday Jun 12, 2024
Wednesday Jun 12, 2024
Garth Heckman
The David Alliance
TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com
BAM - watch them every Tuesday night on our Facebook page.
August Friday and Saturday 16th 17th End times conference at HillSpring Church sponsored by The David Alliance,
8 reasons why you shut your mouth and quit sharing your life and struggles with your woman…
And what you can do about it… this will be a series…
Silence is not strength. If You choose to not deal with hurts and issues realize you are choosing the easiest thing To do -not the hardest or most brave… and definitely not the healthiest way to deal with issues.
Yes we all have stuff to deal with and we all have stuff to bury… but should we?
And Why Do we??
Yesterday was #1 she may use it against you.
TODAY…
2 - He may not want her to worry about him, or to think less of him.
What happens if you tell your wife that you are tempted to talk behind someone's back at work so that you get the promotion. Or that you are struggling with porn or lust or that you haven't read or prayed for a few weeks. Your first concern is how she will then see you and how that will then affect your relationship. And don't get me wrong she will see you differently but depending on what the woman is made of, she will either encourage you convict you reject you or silence you.
A great conversation to have with someone before they are your Wife is to find out what you can and can't share with them and how they would respond. Remember, maybe one of David's wives should've asked him because you are king and can have him do anything. should I be worried about you finding other women?
3 - he may not share his true heart because it's about you, his wife and he knows you can't handle it. This is the number one issue in most relationships.
Women who grew up in homes of divorce, do not handle, confrontation well at all. And it will manifest later in their own marriage.
My wife comes from an upbringing where her mother had four different men in her life, and they were all very dysfunctional and even evil. But they all - but one, were divorced from her mom. Let's just say early on my wife, could not handle confrontation no matter how minor it would be. We had to work through this and be honest we still are.
When you share the truth with someone because you love them and want what's best for them and they don't receive it, they can't handle it and they pull back or blame -overtime you shut down, and your love them can even dwindle.