You gotta be Nuts!

Some people think its nuts jumping out of planes, some think its nuts free soloing or climbing, others think jumping off of cliffs into water at huge heights is…

Today i will tell you what is the most nuts of all…

 

 

Wake the Faith up Slayer… This is Garth Heckman with the David Alliance and you can reach me at

TDAgiantslayer@gmail.com 

 

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Some people think its nuts jumping out of planes, some think its nuts free soloing or climbing, others think jumping off of cliffs into water at huge heights is…

Today i will tell you what is the most nuts of all…

 

You gotta be nuts if you want to have friends…

Yep, certifiably crazy, just foolish…

Here’s why… 

You have to look, test, search, test, spend time… and then so many times find out they are not the type of friend you were hoping for. And this will happen hundreds of times, maybe even thousands over a lifetime. You give someone huge parts of your life and expect the same type of love or friendship in return… but alas, they walk away from you, they use you, they tell lies about you, they gossip, they steal from you, they create a selfish one way relationship and call you out as phony when you set up boundaries. They can taint and poison a whole other groups of friends that you were around. They can keep you from getting that job, that raise or even that marriage partner. They can invite the scorn and ridicule on social media by others who don’t even know you or know the whole story…

You gotta be nuts to risk having a friend.

 

I read a great quote in the book Skin in the Game by Nassim Nicholas Taleb 

To be free of conflict you simply must have no friends.

 

But maybe friendship is not what we think it is… so maybe we set ourselves up to get burned because we simply don’t understand it, or how it works.

 

I am going to say something crazy… and trust me, I have always considered myself as one who has thousands of friends… but sitting here at 56…almost 57, I’ve learned a few things. 

You really can’t have more than 2 or 3 close friends… and you really can only have 1 best friend (outside of your spouse and immediate family) 

 

I have always liked being popular and having lots of friends… but now more than ever I more in tune with just having a few amazing friends. Quality over quantity. 

 

Prov. 18:24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

*what does this verse tell me? Well get rid of unreliable friends… but most importantly… a great friend is as rare as a brother. Now I have a friend who has a big family and he has 7 brothers… but still 7 is a tiny amount if you are thinking of how many true friends you can have.

I don’t think this verse is talking about the Jesus or the Holy Spirit, I think it is talking about how rare a good friend is.

 

What about this verse…

Prov. 17:17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

Well I don’t have a brother… and maybe you don’t either, so does this leave us out of having a great friend during hard times? No, again it is stating that a close friend who will stick with you during thick and thin times is rare.

 

My best friend… wow, I could brag on him for a long time. He and I just hit it off… Now I have a few, very few amazing close friends, but only one best friend. But here was an acid test on our friendship… he called me and said “hey we are thinking of adopting and I would love for you to give the agency that is looking at us your name for a reference. I said you can but I won’t give you a good reference. He asked why… fair question right? I said, well you just moved back to the states, you have switched jobs a few times, your own family is a little stressed and disjointed, you are not sure where you are going to move or what you are going to do for work… it just seems like a chaotic environment to bring a child into. I would have to imagine there are families in more secure situations that should get that child… what do you think he said?

He said “I love you Garth Heckman”. I trust your honesty even though I don’t agree. We talked a little more, we laughed and in time he and his wife did adopt. But he never wavered on his commitment to me as a friend… or even best friend. 

 

In certain parts of the world there are nations, cities and people groups that are terrorized by suicide bombers who wear suicide vests. These are vests loaded with explosives. They go into the most populated areas of the city and trigger the device killing themselves along with killing and injuring dozens, sometimes hundreds of people. The problem lies within trying to detect who these people are and stopping them before they detonate the bomb. There have been instances where people report suspicious activity and a soldier will shoot them without notice to save lives… only to find out that they are not wearing a vest at all. Families get upset, people are torn at what to do… so here is the step many are taking in these cities. When someone notices unusual activity or dress in another person they will run up to them and hug them yelling bomb or bomber - so that people will scatter. They hug them because they know the suicide bomber will still trigger the explosives but it will not kill as many or have as much of an impact because the person hugging him absorbs most of it… in dying… but they will also save lives. BUT If the person is not wearing a vest, the other person will thank them for their bravery…and many times seek them out as a true friend…  as will everyone else. But most of the time… it is a real vest and that person will lose their life.

 

I think that is the best picture of what it is like to find a best friend. You find someone… You run up to them… willing to give your life to this friendship. And they may in turn kill you, your reputation your time you network your dog… and it might not end well… but there are others who might just see you as the most loyal person in the world… willing to give their life  for your life.

 

If being nuts is having friends… than call me crazy… and pull the pull the trigger.