Nice is overrated

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One that my friend Sean Stephenson shared with me and thousands of other entrepreneurs at Funnel Hacking Live back in 2016.

If you’ve ever heard Sean speak, you already know how powerful this keynote was.

I walked out of that room with a new perspective on business and life. And after hearing this, I think you will too.

Let’s dive into it.

During a segment of Sean’s speech, he shared the Coast Guard’s model. He said it saved him from quitting speaking when he considered giving it all up…

Get ready - this story is a powerful one.

Picture this.

It’s a stormy night.

Lightning bolts are slashing through the dark sky.

The wind is ferocious, making the water angry.

The air is cold, the type that leaves goosebumps on your arms and chills down your spine...

Amidst this, a boat gets capsized in mother nature’s path of destruction.

So the Coast Guard goes out to rescue it. They load up their men in the helicopter and locate the boat.

But once they hover over the top of the boat, they realize something…

There are more people in the water than there is space in the helicopter.

So what do they do? Who do they save?

Who would you save?

I know, it’s tough to answer.

But realistically, they can’t save everyone. It’s not possible.

So, they decide who to save based on a motto...

Can you guess what it is?

Their motto is - “We can only save the people who swim towards us.”

That makes the nearly impossible decision possible.

Now, I want you to think about this in terms of your business. But not only your business, your overall life too. 

I know you want to serve and help everyone, but it’s not possible.

Just like the Coast Guard, you can only help the people who swim towards you.

The moment you try to help someone and they push you back - you have to stop. If they are flailing around or swimming away from you, you can’t help them.

Accept it.

They don’t want your help. Maybe they aren’t ready, and that’s okay. Hopefully, they swim toward you at some point. But if they don’t, the helicopter (you) has to leave.

Trying to help people that don’t want your help is the quickest way for you to drown.

And if you drown, what’s going to happen to all the other people swimming towards you that need your help?

Think about it.

Going forward, focus on the people swimming towards you. Don’t chase the others.

Open your arms and give the people who want your help everything you have. Get excited about them. That momentum becomes infectious.

You can’t save everyone.

So focus on the people you can save.

Once you do, you will notice a lot more people swimming towards you.

 

Look it happens a lot in a pastors  life, but even if you are not in ministry if you have a strong personality or are looked at as successful you can run into the people who are upset because you did not rescue them when they were in trouble.

Truth be told I have had many people mad at me because I did not reach out to them when they were sick, distressed, in relationship problems, money issues, kids gone astray etc…

But here is the real truth - almost always these people didn’t really go to my church or were a part of my life in any significant way.

They wanted me to run after them to take care of them even though their commitment to our relationship or my church was really just one sided and selfish - yes on their part.

 

I have had people confront me and say “I thought you were supposed to care and love and help people as a pastor… and they will even throw in the story of the sheep that the shepherd goes after… (Luke 15) remember the story Christ told… a shepherd leaves the 99 in order to go after the one?

 

Thats when I ask them… “were you lost? Did you not know Christ?” because that is what that story is about… they typically get a little befuddled in their response… but ultimately they still blame me for not caring.

 

Well if you cared…

You know what Jesus was not nice… but he was kind. Nice people feel the need to try to please everyone. Kind people are simply loving to those who are a part of their lives - even when they may not deserve it. 

Nice people exhaust themselves running after those who do not care…

Kind people discipline their energy for those who are running to them. 

 

You know what is interesting? No where in the Gospels do I see a picture of Jesus running after those who did not care… he never ran after those who knew better but chose to not follow him. He also didn’t run after sinners, the total lost and depraved… but out of his kindness he was always available to them.

 

Today remember you can’t save everybody… you can’t serve everybody… only those who pursue you! 

 

Oh and if you are offended by this podcast… its probably because you are nice.