Loud vs. Quiet

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Outgoing vs quiet

Introvert vs. extrovert

Loud bashful

confident vs lack of confidence 

 

There are lots of myths regarding personalities… and I am not going to talk about all the different personalities… but if you want a great study on it, check out stuff on the enneagram test. Good stuff, and one of our speakers Jason Miller is an enneagram ninja and will share a lot of the mans personality. 

 

So what are some of the myths out there regarding introverts and extroverts.

*and here is some personal insight.. I am an extrovert who loves being an introvert. WHAT? I used to be a total extrovert, but I am in place now in life where I give a lot… and it used to empower and ignite me. But now as I get older I realize in order to give as much as I would like to, I need to hide away more than I used to in order to be my Best EX. So I intro in order to Extro!

 

so with that here are some myths:

Introverts are not emotionally deep people.

Reality: introverts can feel very deep emotions, you just can’t tell. 

 

Extroverts are always warn welcoming and affectionate.

Reality: While extroverts may seem outgoing they can also be very guarded with their emotions. They come across as your best friend - when you realize they are not your best friend you lash out at them and in turn they become a little more guarded. 

 

Introverts don’t say much when I talk, so they must agree with me.

Reality: Introverts may completely disagree with what you are saying but not think it is important or necessary to tell you what they think. 

 

All extroverts are good communicators. 

Reality: Some extroverts may actually seem like good communicators, but remember the marks of a great communicator is that they listen more than speak. And as an extrovert myself- trust me this is rarely the case. 

 

So what are marks of an introvert? I share this so you can understand people better…

First they need space, time, privacy. My wife and I can be at home together for hours and never talk… not because we are mad but rather she needs some space.

They like their quiet time, it’s how they recharge their batteries.

They have a rich inner life and thought life that they may never share with you. 

They are typically processors… they need time to think things through.. you will frustrate them if you rush them for decisions.

They may check their watch at a party every 5 minutes or sit in the corner and only talk to one person… they are like a river… it is deep and powerful.

They enjoy extroverts because they do all the talking. 

 

So how do you best understand extroverts?

They like people, they work best in an environment of activity and people. They may resent introverts because they don’t understand them.

They will be the last to leave the party… but not really get to know anyone.

They like introverts because they get someone who will listen (or appear to be listening)

They get frustrated not knowing what introverts are thinking

They may think something is wrong if you are not talking

They get fatigued by lack of interaction… wiped out after a full day of school only to be supercharged when friends show up! 

 

You know why typically opposites attract? Because someone has to talk and someone has to listen.

 

And there is truth in that, but honestly it makes life rich and fulfilling to have opposites in our lives. I have a lot of friends who are extroverts, we have a blast and we get loud and crazy… but we don’t hang out much because we need introverts more than we need extroverts. Find the beauty of the opposite, learn to understand them and grow in life.